Kids In The Woods

One of the things I love about kids is that they don't pretend to be shocked by things. A group of kids finds a dead bird in the woods and it's a curiosity to them. They would like to touch it and talk about it. They find death fascinating and fly into action when we (the parents) suggest that the proper and kind thing to do would be to bury the poor dead bird. Sophie shrieks "I know where the shovel is and I will save the day!" and flies off to get the shovel.

The digging is rough going and Sam investigates Sophie's progress with a stoic eye. Watching the kids is like reading a surreal Carson McCullers book about some cobwebby town filled exclusively with crippled dwarfs. Except not depressing.

Sophie gets about an inch dug up when Ben and his brother Finn decide to help out. Digging graves is pretty entertaining, as it turns out. They manage to get a dubiously shallow grave dug and put the bird in it and cover it with loose dry soil. Immediately they start playing and forget the bird. They run across the grave dislodging their handy work and must be reminded not to unearth the dead thing. I suggest they put a big rock on the spot so they'll remember where it is. A smallish rock is placed on top.

The kids have put death to rest by donning a gravediggers shoes. The moment for them is ephemeral, just another interesting but soon forgotten activity in their day. They may mention it later while taking their evening bath, or dredge it up to impress people later on, but mostly they just took it in stride.

Quite a lot of adults believe that young kids just don't get death. That they don't really understand the gravity of it. The seriousness and finality of it. Maybe not all kids do, but I believe that most of them get it pretty well the first time they see a bug die; that the bug is not going to become reanimated. I think that as we grow up we learn to not handle death well from other adults. We are not supposed to take it in stride because it is the single worst thing that can happen to being. Right? I happen to disagree but that is neither here nor there. I just love how kids can process information and experiences of living and dying with complete sangfroid.

Obviously there are all kinds of things that can happen to kids to frighten them and scar them emotionally. They aren't indestructible. They need care and love and a certain amount of protection. But as long as they have a healthy home and caring parents it's amazing how resilient they can be.