Single Parenting: What I Learned In One Week

Philip, who rarely goes anywhere without me and Max, went off like a gay flower to frolic on the gritty gum-spat streets of New York City.  Well, that's what me and Max like to say, but really he went on a business trip to the Toy Fair and hasn't had a day off in 10 days (until today).  I have to admit that I've managed to get away more than Philip and until this week I've never had to be the only person parenting Max for a whole week.

I know, sob me a few rivers.  I have known many single parents in my lifetime and I have never once imagined that their situation was anything but hard work so I hope no one will throw stones at me for complaining about my one solo week of parenting. 

I feel like I'm dragging my knuckles on the floor in exhaustion.  Obviously if I ever find myself in a single parenting situation I'm going to get rich quick and hire a nanny because being the only person available to meet a child's every need all day for seven days in a row is brutal and mind numbingly tedious.  Yes, I know, children are awesome and sweet and funny and also, due to their being not fully grown human beings, they need a lot of assistance!

While it's true that I already do the slightly larger share of keeping up with my child's daily needs what has always kept me (relatively) sane is having Philip to take over when I feel like collapsing.  He does the bed time routine and he plays an important part in the morning routine and on weekends he spends quality time with Max so that I get some breaks.  When he's gone there's no one to give me breaks.

What I learned in one week of single parenting:

• It sucks.  Anyone who's raised children by themselves successfully deserves a medal of honor and just as soon as I'm done raising mine I'll make you one personally.

• Bed time never comes soon enough.  Our kid has a very particular bedtime routine that must on no account be messed with and there's just no getting mentally ready for it.

• It's lonely parenting alone.  Max made me laugh so many times this week (we did have some good times together) and then there was no one to share the excellent quotes with and now I've forgotten them all.

• This mother needs lots of little helpers.  Mine is fizzy and comes in dark bottles.

• It is essential to have play-dates planned.  It's amazing how quickly a child gets tired of his own parent when there's only one and she has to fold laundry all afternoon.

• There's no such thing as a single-parent-fairy to take your child on a magical vacation when you're ready to enter a catatonic state and I think that's a real shame.

Philip comes home late tonight.  I'm still hoping to make it to the Blogher conference in New York City this summer and if I get to go I'll have a lot more respect for the kind of week Philip's going to have and perhaps I will take the time to cushion their week by getting food cooked, laundry done, and the house cleaned so that while Philip is losing his mind he won't do it in a pig sty.