Today We Take Down The Christmas Wreath
This week sure was a bitch. It feels great to have reset my goals and Philip and I are in negotiations right now to reassess everything that has to get done around here and how we will keep things under control. So that we can manage our stress better.To appreciate all the good things in life I think you have to clear some stress away from your mind. Stress clouds vision and heightens any sense of doom that might be lurking in your laundry basket.
I am breathing a little bit more easily now. While most of my garden is a quack grass paradise, there are some amazing things going on it it. I bought a male kiwi plant to get busy with my two female kiwi plants that have survived life in a barrel for two years and will be planted in the ground soon. These are the classic fuzzy kiwis you find at the store. The kiwis that thrive more predictably in my climate are hardy kiwis and I'd like to get a male and female of those too. I love the new growth on them- veined in pink and as fuzzy as a baby's head.
One of my hens is laying thin shelled eggs so I've started giving them oyster shells. If your hens free range and have lots of access to wild greens, chances are good they won't need supplements. Mine can't free-range in the yard until we train the dog not to kill them. Something I think we can do and will work on this summer. Nothing makes chickens happier or more fulfilled than being able to forage. 
The scooter is fixed. I love my Vespa. The bad thing is that with my Vespa fixed why would I ride my bicycle? I love riding my bicycle too but the scooter is so efficient and fast and pretty. Max is enjoying riding it and here he is occupying himself while I get supplies at the "health food" store downtown.Something marvelous is happening with the kid. It's hard to put into words exactly. Perhaps to say that it is simply that he's maturing is enough? There are all these little details such as his lifting resistance to brushing his teeth twice a day...this morning he brushed his teeth after breakfast though no one told him to. Completely voluntarily cleaned his teeth. I almost fell out of my chair! He's trying more foods- not a lot compared to average kids but we've got him eating one fresh produce item a day and instead of eating the same one every day as he would usually do- he's choosing cucumbers one day, carrots the next, and even apple. His hot food is still not healthy but he's switching it up more (tater tots, french fries, and last night a return to fish sticks) which is completely unlike him.
In between those things he's eating frozen tubes of yogurt again. They aren't the organic ones, unfortunately, but if I can keep him eating these ones we have I may be able to gradually switch him to better healthier versions.
He was willing to try "Pirate Booty" and "Potato Flyers" and is now choosing those over Doritos which I think the devil makes in hell. If I hadn't been so desperate for him to eat ANYTHING I never would have allowed him to get used to eating those. (In all fairness to myself, I didn't introduce him to Doritos, this was an outside influence) "Pirate Booty" and "Potato Flyers" aren't exactly great nutrition but their ingredients are more wholesome than most of the bagged snack items at the grocery stores.
So many little changes I'm seeing in him. His awareness of his actions is increasing. He said last night that he's been eating his snacks in bowls instead of straight out of their bags and when his friend Julian came over the other day and Julian proceeded to eat Goldfish straight out of the bag Max explained to him "I'm eating my snacks out of bowls now because I'm trying to be less of a caveman." and then he goes on to explain "I am trying to be more civilized." What? My child?!
I made him gingerbread "cake" last night that has less sugar in it than most "snack" food has. He loved it. We hung out as a family and just talked together and Max made sure we noticed that he wasn't playing video games or insisting on keeping the Simpsons on instead of talking. He was so proud that he was choosing to hang out with his dad chatting than to watch a screen.
I'm really enjoying the nine year old stage. It suits Max very well and is making parenting him a little bit easier.
I have six cups of dandelion petals in my freezer. I need 7 cups of them to make a batch of dandelion wine. Which might turn out to taste awful but which I must try for myself to satisfy my curiosity. I have all the supplies I need handy but the day after I managed to get 6 cups of petals it started storming and hasn't stopped a lot since. The one day of calm semi-sun (best to pick the flowers when they're not sopping) I had to rush out and plant about 50 strawberry crowns and about 12 shallot bulbs. While out there I saw that my fava and pea seedlings are coming up and I have about 3 collard seedlings up, a few lettuces, and the sage is filling out with leaves.
I just hope the surprise hailstorm we had yesterday didn't destroy all the cuttings and seedlings.
I'm scared to look.
We signed the papers for this house on April 5th two years ago. OK, on Monday it will be two years ago. In spite of all the trouble we caused ourselves by moving I don't regret it. The other house was going to bury me in depression. This house is going to get better and better and I love so many things about it just as it is. My office, for example, where I sit and write, is not a big room but it's charming and some day I'll paint the stark walls a pretty color and remove the cheesy border papers.
I randomly think about things during the day, take pleasure from the tiniest scraps of matter; it makes me feel happy knowing that I have skullcap and vervain growing in the garden. Right now they are both coming up between the dead trimmed* twigs of last year's growth. I have lemon balm and foxgloves waiting to do their thing when the weather warms. Such little blips of matter that create small sparks of joy in me at random moments when I remember them.
Though we are a family of dramatic ups and downs, and it is grandly reflected here on my blog, I notice that we're a cozy bunch together. The three of us humans living with two cats, a dog, and 3 hens.** (And the frogs in the pond.) Max has been randomly telling us that he loves us in the past two weeks. Tells us how glad he is to have us for parents instead of other people because we're weird like him and understand him, (as though it was an accident that we're all so similar in our disorders and challenges), and these comments are nearly always followed by an avowal of love for the cats and the dog.
This is why he says he'll never leave home, (the little freak), because he's happy here. He feels loved and safe here. He feels snug and comfortable. Never more so that when all six of us are squished together on the bed in a giant jumble of pets and people. He knows that we work hard not to judge him for having to run to the bathroom like his hair is on fire to get syrup off of his fingers after eating a waffle. He knows that we want him to eat more healthily but that we aren't making his picky eating into a value judgment. He experiences a lot of little judgments from other people so often he's begun to see how different we are than most people and to feel thankful for having us.
It's strange to see this awareness develop in him. It has the effect of returning some of the sapped energy that raising him has taken out of me. It stops me in my tracks, silences whatever thoughts were in my head, and makes me realize that we've done pretty well with the challenging parenting cards we were given.
Much of our life is about putting out fires.
I have failed to be successful in many ways in my life so far but I am seeing that I have not failed my kid and that is no small achievement.
It's time for me to go shower and get dressed. You think that's bad? No, being in jammies until 12:30 pm on a Saturday is nothing to the fact that I am, the day before Easter, going to finally take down the crispy dry Christmas wreath and the various other Christmas items on the mantel so that we can decorate for Easter. (C'mon, isn't it kind of cool that we put the wreath up just before Jesus' birthday and are taking it down just as he's risen from his grave...? Oh shut up!) Philip figures we can keep the Easter decorations up until the 4th of July.
My mom is coming to stay the night and we'll have our small non-Christ related Easter to celebrate instead the continued fertility of the earth and all the wonderful greening and flowering that the lifting of the winter brings with it. Lambs and chicks and pea shoots and trees breaking out of dormancy. That's what we'll be celebrating tomorrow.
I hope you all celebrate according to your own wisdom and tradition and get cozy with your family and your animals.
*I KNOW!! I sometimes do trim things around here!
**In May we'll have 6 more!!
I just hope the surprise hailstorm we had yesterday didn't destroy all the cuttings and seedlings.
I'm scared to look.
We signed the papers for this house on April 5th two years ago. OK, on Monday it will be two years ago. In spite of all the trouble we caused ourselves by moving I don't regret it. The other house was going to bury me in depression. This house is going to get better and better and I love so many things about it just as it is. My office, for example, where I sit and write, is not a big room but it's charming and some day I'll paint the stark walls a pretty color and remove the cheesy border papers.
I randomly think about things during the day, take pleasure from the tiniest scraps of matter; it makes me feel happy knowing that I have skullcap and vervain growing in the garden. Right now they are both coming up between the dead trimmed* twigs of last year's growth. I have lemon balm and foxgloves waiting to do their thing when the weather warms. Such little blips of matter that create small sparks of joy in me at random moments when I remember them.
Though we are a family of dramatic ups and downs, and it is grandly reflected here on my blog, I notice that we're a cozy bunch together. The three of us humans living with two cats, a dog, and 3 hens.** (And the frogs in the pond.) Max has been randomly telling us that he loves us in the past two weeks. Tells us how glad he is to have us for parents instead of other people because we're weird like him and understand him, (as though it was an accident that we're all so similar in our disorders and challenges), and these comments are nearly always followed by an avowal of love for the cats and the dog.
This is why he says he'll never leave home, (the little freak), because he's happy here. He feels loved and safe here. He feels snug and comfortable. Never more so that when all six of us are squished together on the bed in a giant jumble of pets and people. He knows that we work hard not to judge him for having to run to the bathroom like his hair is on fire to get syrup off of his fingers after eating a waffle. He knows that we want him to eat more healthily but that we aren't making his picky eating into a value judgment. He experiences a lot of little judgments from other people so often he's begun to see how different we are than most people and to feel thankful for having us.
It's strange to see this awareness develop in him. It has the effect of returning some of the sapped energy that raising him has taken out of me. It stops me in my tracks, silences whatever thoughts were in my head, and makes me realize that we've done pretty well with the challenging parenting cards we were given.
Much of our life is about putting out fires.
I have failed to be successful in many ways in my life so far but I am seeing that I have not failed my kid and that is no small achievement.
It's time for me to go shower and get dressed. You think that's bad? No, being in jammies until 12:30 pm on a Saturday is nothing to the fact that I am, the day before Easter, going to finally take down the crispy dry Christmas wreath and the various other Christmas items on the mantel so that we can decorate for Easter. (C'mon, isn't it kind of cool that we put the wreath up just before Jesus' birthday and are taking it down just as he's risen from his grave...? Oh shut up!) Philip figures we can keep the Easter decorations up until the 4th of July.
My mom is coming to stay the night and we'll have our small non-Christ related Easter to celebrate instead the continued fertility of the earth and all the wonderful greening and flowering that the lifting of the winter brings with it. Lambs and chicks and pea shoots and trees breaking out of dormancy. That's what we'll be celebrating tomorrow.
I hope you all celebrate according to your own wisdom and tradition and get cozy with your family and your animals.
*I KNOW!! I sometimes do trim things around here!
**In May we'll have 6 more!!
Comments (4)
My oldest is ten and I've been noticing some of the changes you've seen in Max (although God help Max is still ahead of him with food). He's just easing up a little---not everything is quite as fierce a battle. It's a joy to see as it makes life easier for him. And spring does help, doesn't it? I love winter, I love snow, I love curling up in the house but spring does really help....
Posted by thesandwichlife | April 3, 2010 4:03 PM
Posted on April 3, 2010 16:03
Congratulations to all of you, especially Max. It sounds like the loving, supportive environment you have all created there is giving him the space to take a few "risks".
Good Luck with your seedlings. I actually find that they often do better in hail storms than full grown plants because they are small and that bit more likely to bend than break.
Kind Regards
Belinda
Posted by simply.belinda | April 3, 2010 8:59 PM
Posted on April 3, 2010 20:59
I'm glad that Max is reaching that magical age. I think that was one of my favorite ages for hanging out with my son--between 8 and 12. We had such great talks, especially the year he was 10 and we lived in Japan together with no one else to talk to.
I can't say that it was my favorite age because I'm finding 31 to be pretty satisfying, too. And the weird thing is that I still get a thrill when he says something or makes an observation that makes me feel like, "Wow. He's really matured since the last time he's confronted this situation." Oddly, the most satisfying feeling is realizing that he is a better person than I am.
I'm very happy for you. I can't say that I know how tough it's been for you because I don't. But I do know that you've worked really hard with (and for) Max...and that it's doubly hard for you because you have your own stuff to deal with.
You wrote a post some time ago that you were the right parents for Max. I'm glad that you get to reap some of the reward for all your determination and grit in raising Max your way. Sometimes those little moments are just enough to keep us going.
Posted by mss @ Words Into Bytes | April 4, 2010 8:35 PM
Posted on April 4, 2010 20:35
Thank you for a great post
Posted by Back Bone and Joint Health | May 14, 2010 1:41 AM
Posted on May 14, 2010 01:41