Gratitude

Sometimes all you have left to say is Thank You.

Unless you are a writer like me, in which case there is literally no end in sight to the things left to say. But tonight I have some very specific messages to send because sometimes your own cup, which may have been empty for a very long time, has become so full of beer water that it's time to share it.

In no particular order-here are some messages that need to be sent out there:

To Capello: If I was an unmarried lesbian I would- never mind. I just want to tell you that you going to bat for me makes me grateful beyond belief. You offered my name up for some work I totally want to do even though I still haven't sent you that contest prize you won 10 months ago. Plus, you have really awesome teeth. And such gorgeous green eyes. And no one uses swear words to better effect than you and, just, thank you.

To Lisa and Lawrence: Thank you so much for being such good friends, so good that when I am very sick you bring me food and beer (!) and when I'm very poor and scared you offer me what work you can to help us get by. You've overlooked our differences and been willing to grow with me. Truly good friends are one of the most valuable assets a person can have and being able to count you among mine makes me feel rich.

To Linda: Your vote of confidence and willingness to hire me without so much as an interview was a huge boost to my eroding self esteem at a time when I couldn't even get an interview at a cookie factory. I am fortunate that you have such a generous nature and are still willing to take chances on people. Plus, you have the best toy store on earth.

To Don and Adam: You have never been truly menaced blessed by my effusiveness and I worry that it will frighten you. So I'm going to keep it brief- you hired my talented husband a year ago after he endured two awful years of unemployment and even though we've still gone through a rough year, it is a highlight that he loves where he works and the people he works with. Now that you are hiring me for a copywriting freelance job, I just feel that much more warm and fuzzy about you both (in a totally appropriate manner). Yes, that is me being brief.

To Hope and Jennifer*: You are both unfairly gorgeous. I have never seen two more gorgeous pairs of brown eyes nor met- oh, I'm letting myself make you uncomfortable!! I feel honored to know you both and appreciate that you are looking after my interests even though you both have so many of your own to look after. I have enjoyed my first freelance photography job and if WCW really wants more pictures I will be pleased to work more with you Jennifer! Damn it, thank you.

I'm not sure I'm allowed to give any disclosure on the details of my day. I think no one will mind if I point out that all of the above people I have thanked are responsible in one way or another for the five jobs I now have. Yes, that's what I said.

I was previously unemployable but now I have FIVE jobs. (OK, three of them are freelance, but still, FIVE.) They must have all read my Fake Resume, because, honestly, who wouldn't hire me after reading that one? I guess I'm not making much progress on my efforts to say "no" to five people who want my time.

Philip and I have been through a whole lot of hell in the last few years. It's been really hard. We kept saying "I think it's all going to work out. I don't know how, but I'm sure it will." And then one of us would break another bone or make us lose all our money trying to run a retail store, or make us move out of state.

Oh, that was just me...

I think it's so easy to take a job for granted until you don't have one and can't seem to get one. There are few things more primal than the fear of not having any beer starvation. There are so many people who have nothing in this world and it actually hurts my body to think of other people's children starving and cold out there and how their parents must feel because I know how close we've come to losing what we have, which is a blessed lot.

For so long I kept crying "Why doesn't the universe give us a god damned break?!". I know a break (or five) when I get one and so, Thank you. Thank you Universe.

And friends.



*No links available for this gorgeous mother and daughter.