She Don't Shave Well
This one's for Capello
Talent is a funny thing. Some of us have it, and some of us don't. I've been accused, many times in my life, of putting myself down. People have expressed concern for the health of my self esteem because I readily admit to my million shortcomings, generally using a megaphone to admit them to the most possible ears at one time.You might almost say I have a talent for exposing my foibles to others.
A talent is generally anything we seem to have a knack for doing well, as opposed to skill, which is something we work hard to achieve. Talent comes to us like a fluid extension of who we are. It comes to us the way rivers rush to the ocean. Almost without thinking we can do things that others have to work harder at.
So when I said (in a previous post) "I don't come up with clever phrases like 'It's a good thing' because they make me want to shave my ass and roll in salt afterwards" I mistakenly assumed that shaving is a special torture for everyone and that everyone consistently nicks themselves and gets razor burn every single time.
Salt on nicked skin is no gentle frolic. Hence my comment.
What I didn't recognize is that I actually have a special TALENT for nicking myself every time I shave and no matter what razor I use or products I slather on my legs or in my arm pits, I effortlessly get the most fabulous razor-burn. You couldn't get a better one than me even if you trained for it like an Olympian. If it weren't for Capello's comment I might never have recognized my own shaving achievements.
Talent is malleable. You can look at it from different angles. So, in honor of discovering one's hidden talents and yelling them into the mega-phone, here are a few more of my talents you all may not be aware of:
Salt on nicked skin is no gentle frolic. Hence my comment.
What I didn't recognize is that I actually have a special TALENT for nicking myself every time I shave and no matter what razor I use or products I slather on my legs or in my arm pits, I effortlessly get the most fabulous razor-burn. You couldn't get a better one than me even if you trained for it like an Olympian. If it weren't for Capello's comment I might never have recognized my own shaving achievements.
Talent is malleable. You can look at it from different angles. So, in honor of discovering one's hidden talents and yelling them into the mega-phone, here are a few more of my talents you all may not be aware of:
- I have a talent for not walking the dog. It's not as easy as you might think to get the spouse to do all the dog walking. You really have to be capable of tuning out the dog's constant eyeful reproach and become impervious to her long doleful stares at her leash. Plus you have to have incredible debating skills in order to convince others to pick up your own slack.
- I have a talent for ruining clothes in the laundry. For an activity that used to involve rubbing your garments against a washboard in the creek and hanging them to dry, you'd think it would be hard to ruin clothes while washing them. And you'd be right! You have to concentrate hard to forget to empty the pockets of hard candy, lip balm, frogs, sharp bike tools, and spare kittens.
- I have a talent for not getting things done. Some people see this as a "fault" but I like to think of how good it feels, most of the time, to do nothing remarkable. The trick is to avoid guilt. For most people this is near impossible. They cannot let go of the "should haves" and "could haves". I tell guilt to go to hell and consequently enjoy the time I spent picking at my nail polish, checking my empty in-box, and day dreaming about all the ways I could be spending my time.
Labels: mental health, philosophical crap, talent
Comments (2)
I too am talented at doing nothing for long indefinite periods, very importantly. The guilt comes and goes. I sit and read your blog for hours, or write on mine for hours, accomplishing so very little, so very easily. I worry about the things I should be doing, but as soon as I start to be productive, I will cuss a lot.
I have a talent for making up new curses and ways to take the lords name in vain. My favorite, is "mother bitches" right now. And FML...that is a good one, too. It is better abbreviated, so I don't sound as emo.
I have a knack for making my "talents" seem very funny, laugh about them, then run and cry!
I can ruin Macaroni and Cheese a hundred different ways. My husband LHAO the first episode of "Desperate Housewives"...where the lady ruins baked Mac N Cheese 100 ways...he said..."you're not the only one!" But I didn't know I was that talented at it until he said so!
I also know just the right way to say exactly the wrong thing at the perfect time....
I must be very talented indeed!
Posted by Misty Skye | May 18, 2010 8:34 AM
Posted on May 18, 2010 08:34
Well I think you should cherish those talents! Ha- I used to say I had a talent for burning water. We share the saying the wrong things talent.
Posted by angelina | May 18, 2010 4:47 PM
Posted on May 18, 2010 16:47