The Universe Is On Probation

But before I go any further, let me just say that it doesn't pay enough to cover much more than just our mortgage. Now that I've made that clear...the great news is that it's a job working for a graphic design company in downtown McMinnville that Philip really likes, doing work he's qualified to do. They can't afford to pay Philip more than they've offered, but Philip is a loyal employee and a hard worker and if this company and he both end up happy with each other, it's the kind of company that Philip could grow with and really add to. So when you're looking at a choice between working in the local farm store for not enough money or doing a job that actually utilizes your skills, your brain, and that you enjoy doing for not enough money...there's only one way to go. He's very excited!

They have said it's fine for Philip to do freelance work on the side and since he's been getting some good freelance jobs lately, that may possibly add almost enough to the coffers for us to get by. My main goal is to not go outside the home for part time work, but stay here and be a writing urban homesteader and run my on line business, hopefully building it into something a little busier and more lucrative to make up the remaining balance of what we need to be comfortable. But obviously, if I have to go get a part time job, I'll do it.

I feel as though a spell has been broken.

The relief I feel is pretty deep. We'll still be scratching to get by but there's no underestimating the comfort of a regular paycheck. Knowing we'll bring in at least enough for the mortgage is a very important start. It's not quite the level of help I'd hoped for but I am so excited for Philip to work with people he really likes. He's waited a long time for this opportunity and we're grateful that this company is giving him work.

There's that word again. But make no mistake-I'm still pissed off at the Universe, so it's on probation in my books until things pick up enough around here that I don't have to live in fear of not making ends meet. Things are suddenly feeling vastly improved but I'm still feeling pretty bruised by life and I have no faith at all that there aren't more curve balls just waiting for us around the corner.

I must say that it's pretty incredible to have so many people send such good thoughts and wishes our way while things are so tough. Even when I turn into a bitter old crow. Even when I really start flinging the curse words around. I really appreciate all of that fantastic good will you all threw out there for me. Too too cool. Kind of makes me want to get all gushy and stuff. But I'm not going to because I have my reputation to consider.*

Yesterday was one of the suckiest days I've had in a long time. That was a very black mood I was wearing. It suddenly came on while paying the bills and getting a little nasty reality check from my credit cards. Lots and lots of tears were shed. I got the beautiful puffy red eyed look going for me. Always such a pleasure.

I also found out that my kitty has FIV (kitty AIDS) and while he may live for another year or two, that mostly depends on his ability to not get sick with anything. His organs are going to ever so slowly begin to shut down. Since he has become quite gaunt already, I'm not betting on having him around for a whole lot longer. He's my little ginger guy I rescued as an abandoned 5 1/2 week old kitten, and I haven't let myself begin to be sad for what's coming. At least he's not in pain right now.

Now, what I really need besides that pint of Ben And Jerry's peanut butter cup ice cream that's waiting for me in the freezer, and about fifty celebratory beers, is some information on how to promote an on line business. So if anyone out there has any good ideas, please don't hesitate to pass them along. And if you know of someone who consults on this for a living and is very good at what they do, please tell me who they are. OK? I'm going to get that studio up and running, and then I'm going to massively update and refresh the web store. Then I'll get busy making new stuff for it.


Yeah, now that Philip is going to be truly employed (yay!!) I will go back to being the full time child care provider. Oy. I plan to make a very complicated rigid schedule for me and the kid to stay too busy to notice how insane we are together all day long in each other's company. I cannot face four weeks of undiluted Lego time.

So there you have it. I thought I was going to need to take a long break from blogging to exorcise the foulness from my spirit, to find something good to say. The truth is, blogging is such an integral part of maintaining my mental health, I don't really think I could go more than two days without posting. It always makes me feel better. Except for yesterday. Or like when I deeply offend the parents of Max's classmates.

Anyway... thank you all for listening.






*My reputation as a cool handed, level headed, unemotional, logical thinker, with a curmudgeonly edge. I don't go in for all that frou frou lovey stuff. If you didn't know that then I am seriously falling down on the job as the resident curmudgeon.