What'sa Madda With You?

I would be so busted if my Sifu actually read my blog.  I mentioned on our Kung Fu blog that I was practicing positive self talk...which I swear I was doing yesterday.  

I hadn't meant to write what I wrote earlier.  It was all just what I was feeling and thinking and realizing and cursing and promising I wasn't going to share it with anyone because who the fuck wants to read dark dull shit like that?

Right after posting it I had a little epiphany about how everything is a matter of how you look at it- ok, that thought has been chewed on so long and spit out by so many people that it doesn't qualify as an epiphany.  I was actually just wondering if there was a way I could dress up the whole "failure" thing to sound a little more positive.  Because I'm going to need to cover up this depressed, mediocre morass with some artificial sunshine.  A little of my usual happy subterfuge which makes people very confused.  I think I've got it:


God Bless my Non-religious Soul!!!!!!!!

See?  No matter how much one can kvetch about failure, it can all be turned around with a good attitude so that "failing" feels exactly like succeeding, except with no money.

I love how people with lots of money are always suggesting that it's such a burden, as though their lives would be so much better without it.  Yet most rich people spend most of their time working really hard to get richer...if they hated being rich so much they could always quit doing whatever they're doing that made them so rich and donate all their money to charity.  Or me. 

Anyway, I just thought I'd pop in again so I could say that I don't like Woody Allen.  He sucks.  Plus the whole deal where he had sex with his adopted daughter and then left his wife for the young nubile daughter...super creepy.  She was of age and not really his daughter (so technically it isn't incest) but the thing about adopting is that you agree to be a parent to a parentless child...maybe he didn't legally adopt her.  Maybe only Mia did.  Anyway- that's creepy-ass shit.

But that's not the real reason I don't like him.  I think his whole schtick is really old, unchanged, and not funny.  He also makes films in which I hate all the characters like "Match Point".  Not a single character in that film was sympathetic.  All icky people with very little to no moral compass.  Also simply not pleasant.  I hated that film completely.

Then, because I was just wanting something lightish to watch while sewing a tote bag for an order, I found "The Scoop" at the library.  Unfortunately I completely forgot about how pissed I was at him for making "Match Point", so I brought "The Scoop" home.  After reading the back of the box I figured that Hugh Jackman would turn out to be the Tarot killer- right?  So I wasn't going to buy the whole romance between his character and Scarlett Johanson's character.  But then I fell for it because it seemed he was proved innocent and I was vaguely happy even though I kind of wanted to poke Scarlett's character in the eyes because she was so vapid- but then of course (because Woody just really super wants to piss me off) Hugh turns out to be: SURPRISE!  The killer.  I feel like it was a real cheap setup.

Meanwhile I had to suffer endless snoozy dialog between Woody and Scarlett that goes something like this:

W: What'sa madda with you?

S:  I just think, if you're going to get the story, you, you know, have to listen to dead people.

W: (in classic whiny Woody monologue) You're nuts, you know that?  You want me to hunt down a dangerous killer, like, and  without my favorite sandwich?  I mean, this is why, this is why I never had kids...cause they never stop making demands...and because my wife died, not that you care about that, but I could get killed!  And I think if I'm going to get killed I should at least have a sandwich first.

S: What'sa madda with you?  You care more about a dumb sandwich than helping me out?







Whoa!  Are you still awake?  Me neither.  That was supposed to be hilarious, I think.

It's now time to go deal with all the stuff I have to deal with when I'm done with work.  Dishes, laundry, Max's homework, take out the garbage, cook, feed the kid, notice the stuff I don't ever have time for, and then get ready for Kung Fu.  My challenge today is to pretend to feel great about getting nowhere and go into Kung Fu and pretend not to notice my ankle hurting and suck it all up.  Then I will come home and try really hard not to run out to get a case of beer.   I will repeat this totally positive mantra:


See?  It's all in the attitude.