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February 27, 2009

Where Are My Coconut Phones?

shocked 2.jpg
So what the hell are you all trying to do to me?  Shit@#%#T@  So now I'm sucked in to watching "Lost" and I can't tell if I can handle it or not.  I need some support here.  And I mean, like, now, because I'm just about to start episode three and I'm kind of freaking out.  This is where you hold my hand and tell me there's no such thing as giant people-shredding creatures in the jungles.  Cause if you don't I might lose my shit all over the place.

I don't like perpetual mysteries.  I don't like information to be withheld for 8 years.  Here are some burning questions I have:

  • What the fuck is the people-shredder thing in the jungle and if you say they still haven't figured it out by the millionth episode I am seriously going to stop watching it right now!

  • How is it possible that no one finds them for how ever many seasons this show has gone on for? 

  • I know how long fibers last in the average household and there is no way these people can remain on an uninhabited island for years and still have something to wear that isn't made of bark and leaves and spit.  Are they all naked and lost now?

  • What the hell kind of show is this?  Supernatural?  Conspiracy?  Total miserable fantasy?!

  • Is this show just an amped up version of the ridiculous show of my youth- Gilligan's Island where coconut phones are always ringing up the nearest tree?

  • When do answers start being revealed?  How long am I going to be teased with zero answers? 
  • Is this "Twin Peaks" on a deserted Island?  Because I HATED Twin Peaks.  All that ambiguity, weirdness, total disregard for my needs as a viewer, creepy creepy people, unanswered questions.  Just as soon as you think you've been given some real answers- PSYCH!!!!!  There are thirty more to replace it.
  • Oh yeah, and, a polar bear?  Please tell me I get to find out what the hell is up with that?

See, the reason I like crime shows is because the formula usually includes answers at the end of every episode.  Rarely is there ambiguity.  Rarely is a mystery left unsolved for longer than the length of one season.  Unanswered questions stress me out.  They prey on my mind like a disease you can't diagnose. 

Life is full of unanswered questions.  I have just enough personal strength to deal with that fact, mostly.  Well, sometimes.  Actually I don't deal with it well at all in real life and it is one of the many many reasons I take medication.  Suspense in the short term I can handle moderately well but generally only if I know for sure that answers are coming.

One of the reasons I finally agreed with my psychologist that I really did have anxiety through the roof and needed meds for it was because after we had an earthquake in Santa Rosa I didn't sleep for three weeks and spent that entire time looking for places to live where there were no earthquakes because my mind refused to let go of the fact that a bigger earthquake was due to strike our very own faultline at any time.  I could have handled it if it happened right now, or I knew it was going to happen in one month.  That kind of certainty you can prepare for.  Never knowing when something is going to happen is a fact of life I am not able to handle at all.  Because my brain doesn't let go.  It never rests.  Never releases it's death-grip on my nervous system. 

So it is natural that in entertainment I choose the finite.  The conclusive.  It isn't real life.  A lot of criminals don't ever get caught in real life.  I don't want to focus on that.  I want the fantasy that they always get caught.  That science always answers our questions. 

I'm afraid that "Lost" is going to be one of those shows that never answers the questions it raises and just raises more all the time.  So, be honest please.  Give me the scoop.



P.S. PKM- I'm counting on you, my faithful friend, to pull through here if you've ever watched it because I'm afraid people are going to lie to me. 

P.P.S. I listened to "Smells Like Teen Spirit" the whole time I wrote this post.  I am not a Nirvana fan, I only love this one song because once you've written and performed a song like that, you pretty much can't ever top it.  It's so strange listening to voices of dead people.  I have never thought of that before when listening to Bessie Smith or Marlene Dietrich. 

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Comments (24)

Last I heard, Lost has a definitve time frame (just a couple more seasons), so answers should be forth coming. They can't find them because the island can literally be moved - you find this out in the current season. I believe their close lasted b/c they raided all the suitcases from the crash. Additionally the others had clothes and some people were able to leave the island - perhaps they could pick up new ones for everyone? I am still not sure about that "smoke" thing. Hopefully it will be explained soon ;-)

Anonymous:

I can't believe you are on episode three and already trying to ask people for answers. And to the lady above... stop it. Don't tell her any more!!! The information you are giving is way too advanced for her virgin lost mind.

LOST is my absolute favorite show in the history of TV. I am madly in love with it and totally addicted.

Keep going... more will be revealed, and more will be questioned. It is fantastic.

AND NO ONE ELSE TELL HER A THING...

CARRIE:

I can't believe you are on episode three and already trying to ask people for answers. And to the lady above... stop it. Don't tell her any more!!! The information you are giving is way too advanced for her virgin lost mind.

LOST is my absolute favorite show in the history of TV. I am madly in love with it and totally addicted.

Keep going... more will be revealed, and more will be questioned. It is fantastic.

AND NO ONE ELSE TELL HER A THING...

Angelina, I'm totally with you on this one! I valiantly followed along the entire first season, ignoring the anxiety of unsolved mysteries on the promise of delayed gratification. But then the first season ends with a HUGE mystery and I just couldn't take it. People have since told me that it's worth continuing to watch the series and that mysteries are revealed, so I'm considering giving it another chance. Folks who've been keeping up with it might be able to better advise.

Do you like sci fi at all? I've been really loving Battlestar Galactica - for me there's just the right balance of mysterious tension and revelation. About half the episodes get wrapped up snug at the end and the other half follow a continuing story line. It works for me - plus there's the added bonus that the series is almost over, so you won't have to deal with the awfulness of waiting for the new episodes to come out.

Answers are comng slowly in the current series and there is one more after this one so there had better be some sodding answers after watching it for so long.
Personally I wouldn't want Sawyer to find too many clothes, I like him shirtless - probably need to get out more if he is the highlight of my day!

you crack me up!! I've only seen one episode of Lost and it was towards the end of the first season...it's in my mental queue. Can't answer any of those hilarious questions of yours. I never thought about how a show like that could activate somebody's anxiety. It's probably a good idea to manage that.

Have you watched Fringe? It's excellent. Mysteries that get solved, but of the crazy science and technology nature -- with a slight supernatural edge to it. Plus a couple of really fun characters.

Also, while Ty was home sick last week we watched both seasons of Jericho. Post-apocalypse rebuilding of America. It was a little corny but a lot of the situations were plausible enough to suck the homesteader and doomer chick in me right into it and we devoured the entire show in five days! Can't believe they ended it where they did... there's enough material there for at least another entire season. Boo hiss.

Thank goodness spring is coming... I won't be as drawn to the tube when I'm working outside all day and have to do my client work in the evenings.

Lost is definitely the grandchild of Twin Peaks...with the X-Files as one of its parents.

I've watched every season of Lost but I only like it about 1/3 as much as I liked Twin Peaks (one of my favorite shows because the dialog is so amazing--I lived in Japan when it came out and I needed those complicated, unexpected riffs of English so much). That could mean you won't like Lost at all or you'll like it three times more than I do.

I think the first season of Lost was very promising...I loved how they filled in the back story on each character--how all the characters had a chance to reinvent themselves in this new situation where everyone was a complete stranger. And how they basically fail to do it.

You are not going to get any quick answers. Like Twin Peaks, it's not about plot...it's about character development. Frankly, given the parameters for movie recommendations you've blogged about before, I would never have thought to recommend Lost to you.
-----

PS. Lost couldn't exist if Twin Peaks hadn't broken the ground for it. And not because both play with reality in a Twilight Zone-ish way. When Twin Peaks came out, people couldn't fathom this new way of TV story-telling where the story went on over multiple seasons and had 20 or 30 characters all interrelated beneath the surface. A generation later, people are attracted to Lost because they like all the hidden meanings, the "Easter Eggs" that the casual view misses unless they are on the forums or watch the special subtitled edition (which explains in asides all the stuff you're missing). Twin Peaks also introduced the era of model-like gorgeous actors (which is now the norm, especially on networks like the WB).

I never started watching Lost because I figured it was one of those shows doomed to fail. Boy was I wrong. But now, I figure i can't jump in and start watching it because I'd be lost. So, it will be one of those shows I'll never see.

I figured I would wait until the Lost series is completely finished before I start watching it again. However, at my slow rate of watching TV, I should probably start the series now.

Tonya from Lazy Gal Quilting watches tons of shows - maybe you can get a suggestion from her on what TV shows are good to watch. I personally love Medium and Ghost Whisperer. Love me a good ghost story.

pam:

STOP TURN BACK NOW. GO NO FURTHER. THIS IS NOT A SHOW FOR PEOPLE LIKE US. I saw one episde, a season finale and though it seemed pretty interesting. Then my cousin starts telling me about flashbacks and stuff that plays online and clues here and there and I'm sorry but I don't want a show that has to become a lifestyle. Or that I need to take notes on and start conferring with other people.

Yeah, turn back. TURN BACK. If you go any farther I can't go get you back.

pasha Grant:

Yeah, I am not into Lost either--I get so tired of it all after a few shows. It looks like the current season watchers have to have notes pop up on the screen to keep them following along and apparently there are time machines to explain lots of things. I say give it a miss.

Thank you Pam. I needed that. I knew I could count on you. And Tracey- thank you for the straight dope- no moving islands for me!

So funny how normally Friday is silent in the blog world but mention "Lost" and it brings out the passion!

MSS- you are right to wonder why I would watch this- Philip rented it because he heard it was good. I wasn't going to watch it but then I tried two other tv series this week which turned out to not be good for me (NCIS and Supernatural) and I was feeling desperate. So after someone a few posts ago recommended it and it was right there, I figured I'd take a chance.

I'm sorry Carrie, but I can't take this kind of suspense and ongoing lack of answers and the kind of anxiety it produces in me. I'm not just joking around about the anxiety either. It's not a euphemism for fun.

Whether anyone meant to or not- you have done me a great service here and spared me having to watch this series in agony and frustration. The characters are good and riveting but I hate this kind of show. Hate it. Your answers have made it clear that it isn't for me.

Especially all that stuff about hidden meanings and having to watch special editions to find what you missed in the regular one (thank you MSS for telling me that!!)

It's good for me to run out of shows to watch. ever so slowly I am returning to books at night, my first love, and though they don't fill the same slot in my psyche as tv series do, it is good to spend more time with them.

Carrie:

Bollocks

Most of these people have seen one episode. I have seen every single episode. This show is brilliant and amazing. The acting is fantastic and the characters become your friends. There are mysteries, but they are revealed, only to find more mysteries. It is really fun to figure them out. You don't have to watch any special episodes altho they have special editions if you like. You can view them on ABC.com for free so you can move on to the next episode without having to wait a week. My daughter and I watch this show and are so excited about it. I have never found a tv show I liked more. I couldn't recommend it enough.

I do agree with Emma C about Sawyer... he could nickname me any day!

Blaize:

I prefer to read books, and only watch TV during difficult times (such as the month of February in its entirety).

I need TV to be soothing and pretty basic. Because that's what I use it for: anti-anxiety medicine. If I want complex, I read books. If I want complex and upsetting, I have relationships with other actual live humans.

I think that if you triangulate the above comments with the idea of what TV is actually FOR in your life, you'll have your answer about Lost.

Carrie- I can tell how painful this is to you and because I have loved you since you were 15 years old (in a non-les way, obviously) I feel terrible that we cannot share in the mania for this show. I know you don't understand, but, last night I had nightmares about not being able to get home and water being between me and Santa Rosa (which is funny)and missing boats all night and staying with weird people and guns and- it just isn't healthy for me to watch things with that much unsolved crap. If I let myself watch things I know aren't good for me I pay for it and I can't handle my regular stresses.

Blaize- you totally got it right. seriously. I watch way more tv than you but that's because me and books had a parting of the ways when I had a kid and quit smoking (cigarettes). I am only just now finding comfort in them again and more importantly- finding myself able to concentrate my head for long enough to get lost in them. It's still a work in progress. I used to read several books a week, now I read one book every six months. Even writing that down makes me feel weird.

Anyway- I can see that the character development is well done in Lost, but the "smoke" thing that rips people up? Not so good for my pscye. Islands that move? Not good for me.

One last note- I'm a Jack fan. I dislike perennial bad boys like Sawyer. Hot jerks don't do it for me. but Jack (so far anyway) is not only quite nice to look at- he is so good in a shirtless emergency and that errant tooth of his? Sigh. Never the less, even for the myriad chances to stare at that sexy tooth and see Jack perform medical miracles in the jungle, it just isn't worth the anxiety the show as a whole will cause me.

Stacy:

Awww...I love this show - and I suffer from anxiety issues too! The smoke thing comes and goes - some answers are there, others you have to wait for. I didn't think that I'd like it at the beginning, since the promos looked like Gilligan meets Jurassic Park, but one weekend when I had a cold they played the 1st three episodes back to back and I was hooked. There is no other TV that I have ever made sure I watch. There are so many artistic/literary/philosophical references, it keeps me entertained to see what I can spot each episode. I understand if you can't watch it, but if you find yourself thinking about it again, I highly recommend it.

I'm a Lost fanatic. Not only do I watch the show, I watch it a second time and slow-mo many of the scenes. The shows are loaded with easter eggs. I love me my Lost, my tv crack. I hope you stick with it. At some point you'll get answers. But know that with every question JJ Abrams answers... he throws 40 new questions back at ya.

CARRIE summed it up for me with, "LOST is my absolute favorite show in the history of TV. I am madly in love with it and totally addicted.". I couldn't have said it better! Or maybe I have said that... [whispering] back when I was on the island. [/whispering]

Jade:

Angelina,

OMG! I now feel terrible that I recommended the show to you. I have anxiety too, but entertainment is not a trigger for me, so I didn't even think about that. If the show is giving you anxiety, DO NOT WATCH IT!!! Books & movies should be fun. Anxiety is def not fun. Personally, I love complex stuff, with intelligent dialogue and character development, which is what drew me into Lost, and I also have a lifetime love affair with science fiction and mysteries, which is what kept me watching Lost.

I think the show has room for a casual audience, not just the people who read forums and watch spoilers and look for hidden meanings(--> me). Again, you shouldn't watch if it's making you feel bad.

Don't worry about it Jade- I figure out what gives me anxiety pretty quickly and it's always my choice to follow people's recommendations or not. I am actually a fan of some science fiction (I love Firefly, Dark Angel, and some of the Star Trek series).

It's really true that anxiety can be triggered by completely different and surprising things in individuals. Outside of my own context the things that make me anxious don't really make sense. But I think it's the same for so many people.

Kim:

I came across this blog while googling and I want to concur that Lost is THE BEST television show in the history of television.

It's just amazing.

(Still catching up...)

Don't watch Lost. I beg you.

I've seen a total of three episodes, scattered over a few seasons.

It is STRESSFUL and ANXIETY-RIDDEN. I don't usually have issues with anxiety, but this show did it, every time.

Give it up while you still can.

I truly love films I weren't able to really live without...

I must say i love films I weren't able to really live without...

I really love movies I weren't able to really live without...

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