Oh money, where art thou?
That's Marvin, the giant metal rooster back there behind the new fence posts. See the string on top of the posts? That's Philip doing the job right.
You know what? My way works fine too.
There was a lot of squawking in the run this morning. I brought in a shovel and the wheel barrow to clean out the hen house. I have not been taking proper care of these girls. They've been giving me over two dozen eggs a week now and I have not cleaned their nest because I'm too busy worrying about the fact that our store is empty of people and we just haven't gotten much business on line either.
My obligation to these hens is just as important. I really believe that if you take on animals of any kind, whether you plan to eat them, play with them, or steal their young, they all deserve to be treated well.
Ahhhh! The sweet smell of poop...
Dot (pictured here) was the most put out and concerned about the whole shovel and invasion of the nest that was going on. She made a lot of noise the whole time I was in there. More than she does when she's laying. Look how fresh and clean the nest is now! Dot was the first to make an inspection.
It's going to be difficult to get through the "slow" months in the store without losing heart. There is no money being made here. Actually we just shipped out three orders, (and thank you to all of you who placed them!!), but the store is dead. And those three orders are a drop in the bucket of bills piling up. Even though we expected this, it's still difficult to keep my hopes up. What if the spring comes and we still aren't making any money?
I have that itchy desperate feeling, like there must be something I can do to get people to shop on our website which we put so much energy into stocking and making a nice place to buy gifts. Or there must be something I can do to get people to buy more in the store. Last Saturday we had lots of foot traffic and sold only two dish towels the whole day.
This is my last post before taking off tomorrow. So while I'm away, if any of you can think of how Philip and I can make more money, how we can get people to come to our website (and buy things) and how we can promote ourselves, please don't keep it to yourselves. We've been advertising for months now in the Oregonian with almost no results. We are about to improve our signage. We are doing some google adwords for the website. We are a member of the Downtown Association here. (Except I think we owe them money)
Is it my imagination or is almost everyone in blogland writing a book, or contributing to a book? How are you all making these connections? Do people approach you? How do they find you? Have you auditioned? Submitted book proposals? Just know all the right people?
Lots of people are making a living doing their crafts, how are they doing it? It occurred to me that I need to make cute things with a slight edge, I mean, dolls and paintings of children, or other things that help people live in the forever enchanted childhood land...it's everywhere. The stuffies, the child-like art, the sweet trinkets and purses. The only problem is that that isn't at all my style. I enjoy what others are doing but a person who views childhood as one long powerless purgatory isn't capable of creating those kind of magic childhood focused things.
Here are some ideas I've had to make some money:
Prostitution- the fundamental problem here is that men are pretty afraid of me and I don't like breaking the law. The money, I hear, is pretty darn good though. The thing that really worries me about hooking is the number of prostitutes who get beaten and/or killed. There's also the fact that taking this road will almost certainly give Max some deep seated issues with women later in his life. I just don't think I could do that to him. Plus, the hours aren't so good.
Sell Bibles- this idea comes to me from the knowledge that this county is full of very religious people. Though, considering the recent information I've received that Yamhill County is full of Mormons makes me think I ought to include the book of the Latter Day Saints too. this is a way I could rake in the dough while getting back at all those Christians who have accosted me with their views on my own threshold.
Sell my human eggs on the black market- is there a black market for women's eggs? I know I couldn't sell them to fertility facilities because my eggs are as old as I am and while I might be able to squeeze out a few more kids (probably with severe problems) before the egg factory completely folds, the truth is, the quality of my eggs is highly questionable. However, on the black market, no one has to know how old I am and that I come from a long line of crazy people, right? People will pay top dollar for any eggs they can find, right?
Sue someone- isn't this my right as an American: to sue someone for inconveniencing me? Or to sue them because I need to make a living. I'm sure I can figure out some angle that will reap some deep rewards. Hey, could I sue President Bush for causing me emotional trauma? Maybe I could lead a nationwide class action lawsuit against him for needlessly killing off our men and forcing us to live in fear of what he will take from us next. Lord knows he's good for the money.
Go on a hunger strike- I could go on a hunger strike until people just started sending us checks. This would be great because I would also lose weight and give my poor liver a breather. It's pretty dangerous though to suddenly deprive your body of the alcohol and cheesy largess it is accustomed to receiving every day. Seriously, I could have a cardiac arrest. Unfortunately that won't benefit Max and Philip because they have failed to take out life insurance on me.
I'm tapped. I keep wondering what we could be selling here downtown that people would buy frequently and be happy to be able to get right here. A little fresh flower section? What are we missing here? Please tell me, when you come into a shop like mine (if you don't know what kind of shop this is, check out our web store) what do you hope to find, or expect to find that I am missing. What would you like to buy from me that I am not currently selling?
Well I'm off. You all have a wonderful weekend and send good thoughts to Philip, Max, and Chick that they all have a smooth week end without me! And please, write in your ideas. The worst that can happen is I'll tell you what a stupid idea you submitted. I'm just kidding, I wouldn't do that.
It's going to be difficult to get through the "slow" months in the store without losing heart. There is no money being made here. Actually we just shipped out three orders, (and thank you to all of you who placed them!!), but the store is dead. And those three orders are a drop in the bucket of bills piling up. Even though we expected this, it's still difficult to keep my hopes up. What if the spring comes and we still aren't making any money?
I have that itchy desperate feeling, like there must be something I can do to get people to shop on our website which we put so much energy into stocking and making a nice place to buy gifts. Or there must be something I can do to get people to buy more in the store. Last Saturday we had lots of foot traffic and sold only two dish towels the whole day.
This is my last post before taking off tomorrow. So while I'm away, if any of you can think of how Philip and I can make more money, how we can get people to come to our website (and buy things) and how we can promote ourselves, please don't keep it to yourselves. We've been advertising for months now in the Oregonian with almost no results. We are about to improve our signage. We are doing some google adwords for the website. We are a member of the Downtown Association here. (Except I think we owe them money)
Is it my imagination or is almost everyone in blogland writing a book, or contributing to a book? How are you all making these connections? Do people approach you? How do they find you? Have you auditioned? Submitted book proposals? Just know all the right people?
Lots of people are making a living doing their crafts, how are they doing it? It occurred to me that I need to make cute things with a slight edge, I mean, dolls and paintings of children, or other things that help people live in the forever enchanted childhood land...it's everywhere. The stuffies, the child-like art, the sweet trinkets and purses. The only problem is that that isn't at all my style. I enjoy what others are doing but a person who views childhood as one long powerless purgatory isn't capable of creating those kind of magic childhood focused things.
Here are some ideas I've had to make some money:
Prostitution- the fundamental problem here is that men are pretty afraid of me and I don't like breaking the law. The money, I hear, is pretty darn good though. The thing that really worries me about hooking is the number of prostitutes who get beaten and/or killed. There's also the fact that taking this road will almost certainly give Max some deep seated issues with women later in his life. I just don't think I could do that to him. Plus, the hours aren't so good.
Sell Bibles- this idea comes to me from the knowledge that this county is full of very religious people. Though, considering the recent information I've received that Yamhill County is full of Mormons makes me think I ought to include the book of the Latter Day Saints too. this is a way I could rake in the dough while getting back at all those Christians who have accosted me with their views on my own threshold.
Sell my human eggs on the black market- is there a black market for women's eggs? I know I couldn't sell them to fertility facilities because my eggs are as old as I am and while I might be able to squeeze out a few more kids (probably with severe problems) before the egg factory completely folds, the truth is, the quality of my eggs is highly questionable. However, on the black market, no one has to know how old I am and that I come from a long line of crazy people, right? People will pay top dollar for any eggs they can find, right?
Sue someone- isn't this my right as an American: to sue someone for inconveniencing me? Or to sue them because I need to make a living. I'm sure I can figure out some angle that will reap some deep rewards. Hey, could I sue President Bush for causing me emotional trauma? Maybe I could lead a nationwide class action lawsuit against him for needlessly killing off our men and forcing us to live in fear of what he will take from us next. Lord knows he's good for the money.
Go on a hunger strike- I could go on a hunger strike until people just started sending us checks. This would be great because I would also lose weight and give my poor liver a breather. It's pretty dangerous though to suddenly deprive your body of the alcohol and cheesy largess it is accustomed to receiving every day. Seriously, I could have a cardiac arrest. Unfortunately that won't benefit Max and Philip because they have failed to take out life insurance on me.
I'm tapped. I keep wondering what we could be selling here downtown that people would buy frequently and be happy to be able to get right here. A little fresh flower section? What are we missing here? Please tell me, when you come into a shop like mine (if you don't know what kind of shop this is, check out our web store) what do you hope to find, or expect to find that I am missing. What would you like to buy from me that I am not currently selling?
Well I'm off. You all have a wonderful weekend and send good thoughts to Philip, Max, and Chick that they all have a smooth week end without me! And please, write in your ideas. The worst that can happen is I'll tell you what a stupid idea you submitted. I'm just kidding, I wouldn't do that.