Back To The Yoke And Machine
This was a very busy weekend. I spent a good part of it sewing while watching the first (way too short!) season of castle and enjoying Nathan Fillion's nose and teeth in a completely non-fetishist way. He just has such a great nose- what can I say? If I am going to save up $1000 by August, I need to stock my Etsy shop much better. I need it to be packed with great stuff. In case anyone reading this is unaware- sewing for my Etsy shop is as much work as my work is so it's the equivalent of adding another almost full time job to the roster.
This pretty apron is a pattern I drafted based on a vintage one in my collection. I had to do a lot of truing because the original is not as good as could be hoped. I used my own pleated pocket pattern for it. If any old timer readers are wondering why this apron looks so familiar it's because I first made it a long time ago with round pockets with a peace symbol on it. I was going to make some more bib aprons with the flower but I just can't do it. I've retired it. I can't bear the thought of making even one more of them. Do you have any idea how many of those I've made? Over 100 of them. Possibly close to 200. A person, even a person with OCD who like repetitive work for its soothing sameness, eventually gets to the point where having to do the same stinking pattern over and over starts warping the head and making eyes spin in sockets....danger of implosion...
I love this apron. I already had three of them cut out and serged. Making them was refreshing and I'm enamored of the design which is a princess seamed body- allowing for curves in a figure to be more flattered. My own "figure" is the only one not flattered by this design. It isn't a flaw in the design at all, which is fantastic, it's simply that no design will flatter a seal. I'm sorry if the truth offends, but there it is. Most women I know, whether slender and boyish, or slender with curves, or curvy in a Rubinesque fashion will look wonderful in this apron. I may end up tweaking it a bit but nothing major. The thing is- it was so nice to sew an apron I haven't grown tired of.
Note to my sister: I know I promised a flower apron for your birthday but you're getting one similar to this instead. First of all- it will be even prettier on you who can look pretty in just about anything, and second of all- even for my great love of you I can't bear to sew one more flower apron.
My friend Taj who is my most regular customer of my Etsy shop and a sweet lady besides, bought one of the two of these aprons I made. There is one left in the shop and I have more in the works. Go check it out! I'm so sorry that BBQ Sue is looking so thin and drawn. I begged her to eat more. Or to at least think beefy thoughts while I took pictures. She's not a very flexible model.*
For the guys...poor BBQ Bob. He never complains about the hand. Do any of you remember when some shyster stole his hand from out front of our store? He never brings it up even though barbecuing would be so much easier with two hands. This print is really charming in my opinion. The pocket in front is nearly impossible to match to the print so it looks a little wonky. I like to think it merely offers more opportunity to gaze at fine legs and modest pin-up bikinis. I also made a fish themed butcher apron and it's listed in the shop as well. These are actually unisex aprons and I would like to point out that I am aware that some women would enjoy the pin up fabric just as much as men- because a fine limb is a fine limb, is it not? One doesn't even need to be gay to enjoy a fine limb of the same sex. Though if one happens to be gay- it is perhaps just a smidge more enjoyable.
Incidentally, Taj bought a couple of the "women's" aprons for a couple of guy friends and it makes me really happy to think how much they are being enjoyed unconventionally. I only attach labels to my work for convenience. They are really for anyone of any sex at all who will use them and love them.
Who doesn't know an irritant?** This is a 3X sized men's tshirt. I also added a women's fitted "Irritant" tshirt to the shop in a size 3X in light pink. Just in case you were hoping for one. I've got a size medium to add as well. I believe this is my all time favorite tshirt design of Philip's. The men's shirt is less expensive because the shirts were less expensive to buy wholesale.
I also made up two new napkin sets. I admit that the sewing I did this weekend was really enjoyable. I'm also working on a home emergency sewing kit. It's taking quite a bit of time to develop but I'm very excited. It isn't going to be one of those super cheap ones you can buy...why? Because those SUCK. The thread they give you in those is the cheapest weakest kind man has ever manufactured. The needles are crap. The pins are alright. The buttons are crap. The snippers, if you get them are MEGA CRAP. For people who don't have lots of sewing supplies I think it's essential to have a good quality emergency sewing kit and that's what I'm making. Once I finish that one I'll do a travel sized one as well. Neither will be throw-away cheap because I don't make cheap crap. Each will be cute enough to give as gifts.
The dreary truth has just been unveiled. Our tax bill for both state and feds combined is $4000.
If we had been saving money all last year instead of sending Max to the therapist and me to the psychiatrist, and all three of us to Kung Fu we would have almost saved enough to pay to be underprivileged. We went bankrupt last year for fuck's sake! How can you go bankrupt and then owe a shitload of money you don't even make enough to save for? Not even if I never drank another fucking beer would I be able to afford tax bills like that.
You know what pisses me off? It pisses me off that I don't even mind paying taxes in a philosophical way. I believe in paying into my country to keep roads drivable, to have public libraries for everyone to access, to have public schools, and yes: I WANT THAT "AFFORDABLE" HEALTH CARE THAT I DON'T HAVE.*** I believe in paying for all of these things. I do.
The only thing pissing me off is that all the things I believe in paying for with my taxes are still being used to fund KILLING OTHER PEOPLE IN OTHER COUNTRIES.
How many of my $4000 precious dollars are being forked over to the military? The military, an organization for the damned.
Well peoples...what started off as a hopeful and happy post ends with defeat. I cannot save money for New York while owing $4000 to the governments. I can't make fun choices any more. There is no sand left to bury my head in. We couldn't pay last year's taxes either so once we get the tax people to straighten that mess out we'll be owing a minimum of $5500 that we can't afford to the governments. Paying that amount this year will mean we have no way to save for next year. This effectively means we're going to be paying behindhand for the foreseeable future.
There is no room for trips to New York in my position. There is no room to get sick ever again. There's really no room for Kung Fu either if I'm being totally honest. There's no room for anything at all. And by the time we pay off last year and this year's taxes we'll be ready to lose our house to the balloon mortgage.
Yes, people. We're fucked.
So please, buy my aprons if you like them, but you are merely paying my taxes. Not nearly so exciting as sending me to New York.
Just had a great scream-fest where I yelled a giant "FUCK YOU" to the universe. Philip was my audience. The tears won't stop coming. Whatever.
I will possibly stop sewing and hunker down to write. I'm going to be behind in my taxes for the rest of my life I'm not sure spending the time on my Etsy shop is the best. It's possible that I ought to just get busy writing my book. There is nothing in our future suggesting that any opportunities are going to pop up to change our situation.
The only hope left is that I'm a good enough writer to get a book published and have it make enough money to pay our taxes.
Anyone reading my blog for any length of time is probably not surprised at the sudden mood change. This isn't my mental illness speaking though. I think anyone's mood would change after getting the most recent punch in the gut from life.
Life isn't really that much fun. And the less money you have the less fun it gets.
I won't ever commit suicide because my kid and husband need me.
But if life was treating me like this and I didn't have them to care for? I'd be seriously fantasizing about chucking it all in about now. No, I'm not kidding. I'm too tired for this and it isn't going to get easier as I get older to take these blows and there's no reason to expect the stress to stop. I was starting to hope again, that a good turn was coming, but no, it's just more of the same sob story. You know, I get pretty tired of having nothing really great and happy to report. It's why I stop calling my friends and family. It seems stupid to sit around talking about the weather and pretending (yes: PRETENDING) to have a sunny outlook and hopes and dreams. It just makes me more depressed.
Whatever. Fat, Forty, and too "rich" to help.
If I would just give up on the house and trying to have a good life it would actually become considerably easier to be poor. If we let the house go we could live in an apartment rental for half the price, get rid of most of our belongings, and our hens, our responsibilities, our garden, everything we've worked out asses off to get in the first place. If we let all that go then maybe it wouldn't be so hard trying to keep our necks above water.
That's something to think about. I wonder how much more depressed I'd be in a two bedroom apartment with no yard? Maybe I'd love it. Maybe the freedom of having lost every scrap of my desired life would set me free to be happy and feel relatively rich?
It's holding onto what I have left that's making us so poor.
Life is a crock of shit and I'm not going to apologize for not being anyone's sunshine.
I also made up two new napkin sets. I admit that the sewing I did this weekend was really enjoyable. I'm also working on a home emergency sewing kit. It's taking quite a bit of time to develop but I'm very excited. It isn't going to be one of those super cheap ones you can buy...why? Because those SUCK. The thread they give you in those is the cheapest weakest kind man has ever manufactured. The needles are crap. The pins are alright. The buttons are crap. The snippers, if you get them are MEGA CRAP. For people who don't have lots of sewing supplies I think it's essential to have a good quality emergency sewing kit and that's what I'm making. Once I finish that one I'll do a travel sized one as well. Neither will be throw-away cheap because I don't make cheap crap. Each will be cute enough to give as gifts.
Breaking News:
The dreary truth has just been unveiled. Our tax bill for both state and feds combined is $4000.
If we had been saving money all last year instead of sending Max to the therapist and me to the psychiatrist, and all three of us to Kung Fu we would have almost saved enough to pay to be underprivileged. We went bankrupt last year for fuck's sake! How can you go bankrupt and then owe a shitload of money you don't even make enough to save for? Not even if I never drank another fucking beer would I be able to afford tax bills like that.
You know what pisses me off? It pisses me off that I don't even mind paying taxes in a philosophical way. I believe in paying into my country to keep roads drivable, to have public libraries for everyone to access, to have public schools, and yes: I WANT THAT "AFFORDABLE" HEALTH CARE THAT I DON'T HAVE.*** I believe in paying for all of these things. I do.
The only thing pissing me off is that all the things I believe in paying for with my taxes are still being used to fund KILLING OTHER PEOPLE IN OTHER COUNTRIES.
How many of my $4000 precious dollars are being forked over to the military? The military, an organization for the damned.
Well peoples...what started off as a hopeful and happy post ends with defeat. I cannot save money for New York while owing $4000 to the governments. I can't make fun choices any more. There is no sand left to bury my head in. We couldn't pay last year's taxes either so once we get the tax people to straighten that mess out we'll be owing a minimum of $5500 that we can't afford to the governments. Paying that amount this year will mean we have no way to save for next year. This effectively means we're going to be paying behindhand for the foreseeable future.
There is no room for trips to New York in my position. There is no room to get sick ever again. There's really no room for Kung Fu either if I'm being totally honest. There's no room for anything at all. And by the time we pay off last year and this year's taxes we'll be ready to lose our house to the balloon mortgage.
Yes, people. We're fucked.
So please, buy my aprons if you like them, but you are merely paying my taxes. Not nearly so exciting as sending me to New York.
Just had a great scream-fest where I yelled a giant "FUCK YOU" to the universe. Philip was my audience. The tears won't stop coming. Whatever.
I will possibly stop sewing and hunker down to write. I'm going to be behind in my taxes for the rest of my life I'm not sure spending the time on my Etsy shop is the best. It's possible that I ought to just get busy writing my book. There is nothing in our future suggesting that any opportunities are going to pop up to change our situation.
The only hope left is that I'm a good enough writer to get a book published and have it make enough money to pay our taxes.
Anyone reading my blog for any length of time is probably not surprised at the sudden mood change. This isn't my mental illness speaking though. I think anyone's mood would change after getting the most recent punch in the gut from life.
Life isn't really that much fun. And the less money you have the less fun it gets.
I won't ever commit suicide because my kid and husband need me.
But if life was treating me like this and I didn't have them to care for? I'd be seriously fantasizing about chucking it all in about now. No, I'm not kidding. I'm too tired for this and it isn't going to get easier as I get older to take these blows and there's no reason to expect the stress to stop. I was starting to hope again, that a good turn was coming, but no, it's just more of the same sob story. You know, I get pretty tired of having nothing really great and happy to report. It's why I stop calling my friends and family. It seems stupid to sit around talking about the weather and pretending (yes: PRETENDING) to have a sunny outlook and hopes and dreams. It just makes me more depressed.
Whatever. Fat, Forty, and too "rich" to help.
If I would just give up on the house and trying to have a good life it would actually become considerably easier to be poor. If we let the house go we could live in an apartment rental for half the price, get rid of most of our belongings, and our hens, our responsibilities, our garden, everything we've worked out asses off to get in the first place. If we let all that go then maybe it wouldn't be so hard trying to keep our necks above water.
That's something to think about. I wonder how much more depressed I'd be in a two bedroom apartment with no yard? Maybe I'd love it. Maybe the freedom of having lost every scrap of my desired life would set me free to be happy and feel relatively rich?
It's holding onto what I have left that's making us so poor.
Life is a crock of shit and I'm not going to apologize for not being anyone's sunshine.
*The real question here is: will I ever stop being amused by my mannequins? Am I taking enough meds?
**Shut up! I would wear one every day but I'm too big even for the 3X. Here's my first weight loss goal: to fit in the irritant shirt for New York. I must wear one the whole time!!!!!!
***So right now would be a great time to kick that government health care into gear. Knowing how things generally work, Philip and I probably won't qualify and then if we do, the government's idea of what's "affordable" is probably not anything like mine. We'll be too busy paying for the country's debt due to war and other evil things to afford the affordable.
**Shut up! I would wear one every day but I'm too big even for the 3X. Here's my first weight loss goal: to fit in the irritant shirt for New York. I must wear one the whole time!!!!!!
***So right now would be a great time to kick that government health care into gear. Knowing how things generally work, Philip and I probably won't qualify and then if we do, the government's idea of what's "affordable" is probably not anything like mine. We'll be too busy paying for the country's debt due to war and other evil things to afford the affordable.
Comments (16)
christ, how is this possible?! $4K? That is seriously messed up. I have nothing comforting to offer you but I am disgusted for you. You are a perfect example of what has happened because of capitalism....pure corporate greed-unfair wages, no benefits and bleeding you dry.
Posted by Kathy | April 13, 2010 11:09 AM
Posted on April 13, 2010 11:09
The reason they are so high is because Philip has barely any money with-held from his check. I work as a contractor not a salaried employee which means I have to set my own money aside for taxes. We didn't set money aside because we couldn't afford to.
Posted by angelina | April 13, 2010 11:18 AM
Posted on April 13, 2010 11:18
I was going to try and talk you into going on with the New York plans...would the refund seriously help the tax bill??... but I can see that you don't need that kind of talk. Not sure that I have any answers for you. It is so hard to always be behind the eight ball. Can't tell you what to do or not to do but I would hate to see you stop sewing...I know you enjoy that and you have been making some money with it. Does Etsy money need taxes paid on it also?
Rambling here and wishing I could make all your problems all go away...sorry for your pain.
Robin
Posted by Robin | April 13, 2010 11:37 AM
Posted on April 13, 2010 11:37
So you're being punished for working. This so sucks.
Posted by Ann | April 13, 2010 11:46 AM
Posted on April 13, 2010 11:46
Please delete all those extra comments (and this one)...things weren't working and I was trying to get it to go through.
Robin
Posted by robin | April 13, 2010 11:49 AM
Posted on April 13, 2010 11:49
Geez. ((Hugs)) (Are you a hugger? I can't remember. Ah well, these are virtual, anyway.) I know you weren't asking for help, but if you ever feel like doing some financial brainstorming, shoot me an email. Sometimes it helps to talk it out with someone on the outside of the situation. I probably won't have anything new to tell you, but brainstorming is brainstorming.
Posted by Angelina | April 13, 2010 12:00 PM
Posted on April 13, 2010 12:00
I'm sorry. Probably doesn't help to know you're in the same boat with a disturbingly large percentage of the population.
As Angelina said, you weren't asking for help, just venting, but the mother hen in me can't help it, so here's my 2 cents worth, which, of course, may be composted promptly, since b.s. is good for the garden ... what about ruthlessly weeding through your possessions and selling anything you can live without on e-bay? (also anything left from your shop, including your beloved mannequins, if need be?) Maybe even your vespa? (I know you love it, and use it for important things like getting to upick places and might vehemently object, but you love your house more ...) Growing more vegetables through the community garden, to help with the following: Cutting your grocery bill to the bones ... examples: food for Max, pet food, the beer you need, but not one ounce more, --- and living, if possible, only on the food you grow and homegrown eggs? (Also I know where you can get local eggs for $2.50 a dozen, if you do need more). ...
So, taking a page from Rianna, using cloth wipes (made from your fabric stash) for toilet paper (except for feces), and making your own cloth pads ... anything and everything you can to cut every last single penny out of the bill. Perusing freecycle and Craigslist for whatever you do need before ever spending a penny (more chickens, fencing, free vegetables, coupons, etc.)
Even getting emergency food boxes, if you needed to, or (if he isn't already), getting Max on free or reduced price lunches, etc.
I don't know if that would add up to $4,500, plus money for next year's taxes, given that you're already being frugal, but maybe it would cut that tax bill in half, which would suck approximately half as much ...
Anyway, like I said, it's just my 2 cents worth, and we all know what 2 cents is worth, these days. So if I've only succeeded in pissing you off, I apologize.
Posted by nm | April 13, 2010 12:24 PM
Posted on April 13, 2010 12:24
Thanks everyone. Robin- yes, you are supposed to report earnings from Etsy too. Which I haven't done. So I hope the government doesn't read my blog and I hope that by the time the feds audit me and my nefarious activities that I'll already be dead.
Posted by angelina | April 13, 2010 12:50 PM
Posted on April 13, 2010 12:50
I'm sorry that the happy sewing post turned into such a sad end. I wish... well a lot of stuff, but wish that you could have something sweet and happy and good happen.
Maybe in an apartment you could feel free of lots of things. Maybe a solution will present itself soon.
In the meantime. xo
Posted by pam | April 13, 2010 4:47 PM
Posted on April 13, 2010 16:47
I wasn't questioning you Angelina about the amount, not at all. More disgusted at the imbalance of fairness and equality that seems to have hit you guys.
Posted by Kathy | April 13, 2010 10:28 PM
Posted on April 13, 2010 22:28
I know you weren't Kathy! I just thought I could explain a little how come so high. I took your comment exactly as you meant it.
Posted by angelina | April 13, 2010 10:35 PM
Posted on April 13, 2010 22:35
Oh, Angelina. I'm so sorry for everything that you're going through. It sucks in a majorly sucky way. What a nightmare.
Posted by EmmaC | April 14, 2010 8:18 AM
Posted on April 14, 2010 08:18
Hey.I 'm very curious about topic.Where can I learn other stuff about the subject? Any ideas?
Posted by Terence Sumlin | May 7, 2010 1:21 PM
Posted on May 7, 2010 13:21
Thank you for a great post
Posted by Back Bone and Joint Health | May 14, 2010 1:41 AM
Posted on May 14, 2010 01:41
Hey there...taxes and death...inevitable...
just wondering in the nosiest of ways...if you are an independent contractor and work from home part of the time, that percentage of your house payment that is used for work is an itemizable thing. The New York trip should be itemized. your new used pc is itemization, on and on and on...there are so many things you may not be willing to count as business expenses, I am not at all criticizing, I am wondering if you took a deep look into the taxes if you could lower your taxable income, possibly qualify for EIC credits, or other credits...I am not an expert but I have a few friends that have worked for tax places, and I wonder if there are anythings being overlooked that could minimize some of that liability. I know the northwest is expensive, but if you are as frugal as I think, surely there are tax breaks out there that can help. Even amending old returns to recover loss....if you are 1099 you can itemize a lot....
I hope this helps....if not I will think something else up..i think your stormy brain will brainstorm up something...and you will always dust it off and move on.
Posted by Misty Skye | May 19, 2010 3:18 PM
Posted on May 19, 2010 15:18
I suppose my only response then, is: shit that sucks! :>
I will ask a friend of mine that really likes aprons if she'll buy one! :)
Posted by Misty Skye | May 19, 2010 3:33 PM
Posted on May 19, 2010 15:33