Caramelized Onions

If you have never caramelized onions, it's time you did. I realize that they sound ever so slightly haughty like something a crazed "foodie" would make that the rest of us would find stupid (like "caramelized oyster juice"?!@)...but they are amazing. It takes a little time to do them right and that's one half of the caramelized onion trick. It's very easy:

That is your equation. You must follow it. Do not be tempted to rush yourself. Be making other things at the same time and do at least three onions at a time so that you'll have plenty. You need to let the onions brown ever so slowly. If you're a punk in a rush you will burn them with too high of a heat. You need to scrape them from the bottom of the pan moderately often. You want them to brown, but then you want them to brown all over.

Then what do you do with them? If you made ten of them at once you have the perfect base for a heavenly French onion soup. If you made less you can use it for topping on a home made pizza. If you don't feel like making pizza dough, use bread. Toast your bread, spread it with either marinara sauce or pesto sauce, liberally top it with the onions, and then cheese. Or use it for appetizers on crackers: cracker, then cheese, and then small pile of sticky sweet onions. Add them to sandwiches. Use them with ricotta in a manicotti stuffing.

I'm sure they must be able to make meat a lot nicer too.

Once you do these onions right, everyone will think you're a cooking star.

You will also never get over them.