Gluten Doesn't Cause Dermatillomania
I'm having a whole-life deja-vu. I have them from time to time. Something is wrong with me and I know there's something wrong with me and because I'm not a person who can shut up, keep things in, and embrace silence, I let it all out to everyone with ears. This causes an avalanche of well meaning suggestions, suppositions, and platitudes. I never bother to give the minute details of things because they're tedious, so no one has full information; the full background picture. I don't preface my outbursts with the long history of facts, figures, and trials with all the errors.
It's like when I started exploring what the hell was wrong with my head. When I started realizing that saying "I'm moody" was an unparalleled understatement. When I started realizing that to call me a "worrywart" was like calling the Great Wall of China "long". So I started asking people questions and looking up information, reading, and tallying up all the things I'd already done in the past to smooth over these tidal waves of inconsistant and ravaging mental swings. And I tried new things. Lots of new things. Natural things to add to the other natural things I'd already tried. But people everywhere want to say "There's nothing really wrong." and "Everyone goes through this kind of stuff." Yeah? Really? Everyone's got dermatillomania? Everyone scars themselves up with knives? Everyone has nonstop nightmares? Everyone spends their teen years not sleeping more than a couple hours a night? Everyone passes out from hyperventilation due to panic? Really? Cause why didn't anyone say something BEFORE?!
No, they have to admit, not everyone has those experiences and maybe that's a little more extreme than they realized.
But it's most likely due to a dairy allergy!!
Or my chi is off.
Or I don't got enough Jesus in my life.
Then there was the time when I was getting a ton of sore throats. I kept going to the doctor because I was getting sore throats but then not getting colds. For weeks on end near the end of winter/early spring I was getting one a week but never getting a cold. My throat would swell up and sometimes hurt but then go away in a day or two with no other symptoms. The doctors and nurses kept saying "But you live with a toddler...right? And he's just started preschool...right?" followed by tinkling laughter "You're getting sick because your toddler is getting exposed to so many new viruses." But I wasn't actually getting sick, I tried to explain. This is new, this is different, this isn't something my body normally does...because no one was listening to me they didn't ask me the kinds of questions that might have led to an answer sooner. Like, they might have asked if I had ever had allergies before? But it wasn't high allergy season, so I suppose it didn't occur to them. If they'd asked I might have thought to tell them how every time I rake up my sycamore leaves in the winter my throat immediately gets scratchy and swells up and my nose starts running like crazy. That might have led to the solution faster- as it turns out I have seasonal allergies. Not to pollen, like most people, but to molds like leaf molds which are particularly prevalent during the wet season in California.
Oh, and there was the time I broke my hip and the doctor at urgent care didn't take an x-ray because the fall I'd had wasn't the kind that breaks hips. So he sent me home. Even though I couldn't walk (I dragged myself on my mom's borrowed crutches). For two weeks I didn't go to the doctor even though I knew I had a break. I knew it wasn't just a pulled muscle. The pain made me cry and scream. Pulled muscles don't do that to me. It took me two weeks to get up the courage to face the stupid doctor's office to ask to be examined by my regular doctor. I was prepared for her to laugh. She didn't laugh. She sent me right to x-ray and later that day called and told me I was a very "stoic" person to have had a broken acetabulum for two weeks and not gone to the doctor or taken pain killers.
Of course, I would have been better off taking pain killers. I'd discovered the therapeutic aspects of beer. Which set the course for a whole other problem I have only just recovered from.
There are other experiences like this. My life seems to be full of them.
I'm in the middle of it again right now. I know something is wrong with my body. I have been posing questions on Facebook (because I can't help myself) and talking to friends and generally making a big fuss over the fact that I have consumed 56,000 fewer beer calories over the past 7 months, increased my exercise, and not only didn't lose a pound but seemed to have gained again. AGAIN. So people have lots of suggestions and of course I haven't furnished them with every last detail because it's boring to explain the tedious details of what I've actually been doing in the past three years to try and lose weight....or at least not gain any more. So then with each suggestion people make I have to give a little more of the information to account for why I don't think their suggestions fit the situation. I keep bringing up the last 7 months because it is the most consistent and dramatic effort I have made in the three years I've been making them. But it isn't the first, second, third, fourth, fifth, or even eighth push I've made to make change.
I would like to be a person who can just shut up already. I would like to be a lot of things I'm not.
So right now I'm hearing a lot of people suggesting food allergies. Food allergies are like a new religion. They explain all of life's ills. They are the evil behind the body curtain. "I was going to commit suicide until I stopped eating wheat...then everything cleared up and I was well balanced and felt great!" Testimonials akin to Jesus walking on water, what with the "miraculous" ability for absolutely all ills to be righted by not eating whatever it is they're not eating.
Maybe an allergy to gluten is how come my body won't let go of weight for the first time in my life. Maybe an allergy to tomatoes is the real reason my body is betraying me and acting 100% differently in the past 3 years than it ever acted before. Perhaps it also explains my "mood swings".
Whoa. And this is where absolutely everyone loses all credibility. I already know why I have mood swings. I already know why I make my thumb numb and callused by twisting fabric around it and pulling hard on it for hours on end...it's called OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER.
I've been doing some reading and I feel the need to point out to anyone interested that if you look at the list of symptoms for almost any major illness or disorder you will find "depression" listed among them. Allergies to foods nearly always (I'm finding) list "depression" among the symptoms. So does hypothyroidism. So does Cushing's Syndrome. So does Celiac's. Guess what else lists "depression" amongst its symptoms?
It's like when I started exploring what the hell was wrong with my head. When I started realizing that saying "I'm moody" was an unparalleled understatement. When I started realizing that to call me a "worrywart" was like calling the Great Wall of China "long". So I started asking people questions and looking up information, reading, and tallying up all the things I'd already done in the past to smooth over these tidal waves of inconsistant and ravaging mental swings. And I tried new things. Lots of new things. Natural things to add to the other natural things I'd already tried. But people everywhere want to say "There's nothing really wrong." and "Everyone goes through this kind of stuff." Yeah? Really? Everyone's got dermatillomania? Everyone scars themselves up with knives? Everyone has nonstop nightmares? Everyone spends their teen years not sleeping more than a couple hours a night? Everyone passes out from hyperventilation due to panic? Really? Cause why didn't anyone say something BEFORE?!
No, they have to admit, not everyone has those experiences and maybe that's a little more extreme than they realized.
But it's most likely due to a dairy allergy!!
Or my chi is off.
Or I don't got enough Jesus in my life.
Or maybe it's because I'm mentally ill.
Then there was the time when I was getting a ton of sore throats. I kept going to the doctor because I was getting sore throats but then not getting colds. For weeks on end near the end of winter/early spring I was getting one a week but never getting a cold. My throat would swell up and sometimes hurt but then go away in a day or two with no other symptoms. The doctors and nurses kept saying "But you live with a toddler...right? And he's just started preschool...right?" followed by tinkling laughter "You're getting sick because your toddler is getting exposed to so many new viruses." But I wasn't actually getting sick, I tried to explain. This is new, this is different, this isn't something my body normally does...because no one was listening to me they didn't ask me the kinds of questions that might have led to an answer sooner. Like, they might have asked if I had ever had allergies before? But it wasn't high allergy season, so I suppose it didn't occur to them. If they'd asked I might have thought to tell them how every time I rake up my sycamore leaves in the winter my throat immediately gets scratchy and swells up and my nose starts running like crazy. That might have led to the solution faster- as it turns out I have seasonal allergies. Not to pollen, like most people, but to molds like leaf molds which are particularly prevalent during the wet season in California.
Oh, and there was the time I broke my hip and the doctor at urgent care didn't take an x-ray because the fall I'd had wasn't the kind that breaks hips. So he sent me home. Even though I couldn't walk (I dragged myself on my mom's borrowed crutches). For two weeks I didn't go to the doctor even though I knew I had a break. I knew it wasn't just a pulled muscle. The pain made me cry and scream. Pulled muscles don't do that to me. It took me two weeks to get up the courage to face the stupid doctor's office to ask to be examined by my regular doctor. I was prepared for her to laugh. She didn't laugh. She sent me right to x-ray and later that day called and told me I was a very "stoic" person to have had a broken acetabulum for two weeks and not gone to the doctor or taken pain killers.
Of course, I would have been better off taking pain killers. I'd discovered the therapeutic aspects of beer. Which set the course for a whole other problem I have only just recovered from.
There are other experiences like this. My life seems to be full of them.
I'm in the middle of it again right now. I know something is wrong with my body. I have been posing questions on Facebook (because I can't help myself) and talking to friends and generally making a big fuss over the fact that I have consumed 56,000 fewer beer calories over the past 7 months, increased my exercise, and not only didn't lose a pound but seemed to have gained again. AGAIN. So people have lots of suggestions and of course I haven't furnished them with every last detail because it's boring to explain the tedious details of what I've actually been doing in the past three years to try and lose weight....or at least not gain any more. So then with each suggestion people make I have to give a little more of the information to account for why I don't think their suggestions fit the situation. I keep bringing up the last 7 months because it is the most consistent and dramatic effort I have made in the three years I've been making them. But it isn't the first, second, third, fourth, fifth, or even eighth push I've made to make change.
I would like to be a person who can just shut up already. I would like to be a lot of things I'm not.
So right now I'm hearing a lot of people suggesting food allergies. Food allergies are like a new religion. They explain all of life's ills. They are the evil behind the body curtain. "I was going to commit suicide until I stopped eating wheat...then everything cleared up and I was well balanced and felt great!" Testimonials akin to Jesus walking on water, what with the "miraculous" ability for absolutely all ills to be righted by not eating whatever it is they're not eating.
Maybe an allergy to gluten is how come my body won't let go of weight for the first time in my life. Maybe an allergy to tomatoes is the real reason my body is betraying me and acting 100% differently in the past 3 years than it ever acted before. Perhaps it also explains my "mood swings".
Whoa. And this is where absolutely everyone loses all credibility. I already know why I have mood swings. I already know why I make my thumb numb and callused by twisting fabric around it and pulling hard on it for hours on end...it's called OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER.
I've been doing some reading and I feel the need to point out to anyone interested that if you look at the list of symptoms for almost any major illness or disorder you will find "depression" listed among them. Allergies to foods nearly always (I'm finding) list "depression" among the symptoms. So does hypothyroidism. So does Cushing's Syndrome. So does Celiac's. Guess what else lists "depression" amongst its symptoms?
Major Depressive Disorder
Which I have. It's chronic and pervasive. And anxiety? Yes, I have a lot of that lying around in my body. The OCD is related to anxiety and often is a particular expression of it. But aside from my special expressions of anxiety that come in the form of obsessive thoughts and behaviors, I also have other extreme expressions of anxiety such as panic attacks. I used to get panic attacks so severe that I would have to sit down and breath deeply to prevent myself from passing out. I have, in fact, passed out from panic attacks.
To tell me to "stop stressing so much" is like asking a person born with one arm to grow a second one. The body can do amazing things but you can't ask it to make something it's never had. I can't grow a new brain. I can improve the one I've got and I work at that, but it isn't going to suddenly have the regulatory abilities it never had.
So when looking for what might be wrong with my body, it is important to take into account that I have mental illness and so it would be misleading to include any kind of mood issues as indicative symptoms for anything else. My mood issues are not mild. They are not gentle. They do not come and go. They do not lift with exercise. They do not improve with meditation. And until Celiac's include "dermatillomania"* as a symptom of the disease, I do not think there is much indication that I have Celiac's.
Someone pointed out "joint pain" as something I have that is experienced by people with Celiac's and I, again, realized that important details have been omitted for the sake of not being more tedious than I already am. I don't experience joint pain in general. I only experience joint pain in my knees and ankles, and I only experience that after exercise. BECAUSE I WEIGH A LOT OF POUNDS. My body is very heavy and doing exercise puts a lot of pressure on them. But joint pain in general? No.
I'm frustrated. Why does everyone I know seem obsessed with food and food related illness? It feels as though all these people I know are looking for any explanation that they can find that gives them the ability to control the problem. Food allergies are perfect because you can simply stop eating what you're allergic to.
And it feels like everyone is trying to explain away my mental issues with them as well. Maybe they don't mean to. Maybe they just aren't hearing themselves. But everyone keeps making a big deal out of MOOD being effected by food allergies. As though that would explain so much. As though if only I'd realized I am allergic to some kind of food or another I would never have cut myself up or had the psychotic break as a teen or developed obsessive behaviors.
So maybe that's unintentional- but it pisses me off. It feels like people are not willing to accept anything they can't fix. It seems like people don't believe in mental illness and that pisses me the fuck off. Why is it so hard for people to accept that there are some things they can't change? Why does it freak people out to admit that maybe some people are born with brains that don't work as well as others? Why is it so hard to accept that some people have nervous systems that don't communicate properly with the brain?
You can't positive-think yourself a new brain.
Anyone who says differently is chasing unicorns and rainbows and are welcome to them.
What's wrong with me? I don't know. A friend of mine suggested stress and at first I wanted to kick his ass. Of course I have tons of stress. What am I supposed to do about it? I've spent a lifetime trying to control it with every method possible and in the end the only thing that worked and improved my quality of life was man-made pscyche meds. Which very likely has added to the whole weight issue.
But I listened to him and did some checking up and sure enough- too much stress can cause a body to develop bigger problems. It's all about the overproduction of cortisol in the pituitary gland. Which can result in Cushing's Syndrome. Other things that can result from this are other hormonal imbalances resulting in hypothyroidism and diabetes. Yes, diabetes. I don't understand it all and this may very well not be the answer. However, when I compare the list of symptoms for food allergies (special emphasis on gluten allergy) with the symptoms associated with hormone imbalances (special emphasis on those produced by excessive stress), it is incredibly clear that everything I'm experiencing matches up with the hormonal list eerily well and with the Celiac's list hardly at all.
In spite of having expressed this out loud, a number of people are still saying "food allergy!". Why? Why the insistence when I know myself better than they do and why insist that in spite of the evidence that supports a hormonal imbalance over a food allergy do they still think it's gluten. As though they have a personal stake in it being gluten. As though this would somehow vindicate everything they have come to believe. Their insistence feels unreasonable. Like I've just pointed out that Jesus never walked across the water, there was a structure just under the water that he walked across the whole way."
Like my friend with his paleo diet it seems that food allergies have become people's new religion.
I am perfectly willing to get myself checked out for food allergies the moment I can afford to be checked out for anything. I have no vested interest in disabusing food allergies as the evil behind many bodily ills, but it simply isn't adding up. Whereas hormonal imbalance is. One of the ways I count myself as a rational person is that I follow the evidence. I don't decide ahead of time what's wrong, but I follow the clues and if one solution just doesn't add up, I don't follow it doggedly. I look for what does add up.
Something is not right with my body. This is the one thing I know for sure. I've been feeling it for almost 3 years but while still drinking heavily I couldn't assert anything with confidence. Drinking heavily can cloud a lot of issues. I couldn't be sure there was something wrong until I'd effectively reduced my drinking by a lot and for many months and also included a lot more consistent exercise. I've done it. I'm there.
There's something not right.
Maybe a number of things not right.
A friend sent me $100 to spend however I want or need to spend it. I now know how to spend it. I will cash it, save it in a drawer, and wait until I have enough to get a bunch of blood tests done. I will find out how much it will cost from my doctor to get all my major hormones checked as well as checking for a gluten allergy which I think can be checked with blood as well. I will also get tested for diabetes. Those are the things I will save to be checked for.
Thank you Tonia! Your card is beautiful!
If all of those things can be crossed off my list then I'll just have to keep researching.
*This is one that I'm particularly ashamed of and rarely mention out loud. I just had to look up the word for it because describing it in an unclinical way is demoralizing.
To tell me to "stop stressing so much" is like asking a person born with one arm to grow a second one. The body can do amazing things but you can't ask it to make something it's never had. I can't grow a new brain. I can improve the one I've got and I work at that, but it isn't going to suddenly have the regulatory abilities it never had.
So when looking for what might be wrong with my body, it is important to take into account that I have mental illness and so it would be misleading to include any kind of mood issues as indicative symptoms for anything else. My mood issues are not mild. They are not gentle. They do not come and go. They do not lift with exercise. They do not improve with meditation. And until Celiac's include "dermatillomania"* as a symptom of the disease, I do not think there is much indication that I have Celiac's.
Someone pointed out "joint pain" as something I have that is experienced by people with Celiac's and I, again, realized that important details have been omitted for the sake of not being more tedious than I already am. I don't experience joint pain in general. I only experience joint pain in my knees and ankles, and I only experience that after exercise. BECAUSE I WEIGH A LOT OF POUNDS. My body is very heavy and doing exercise puts a lot of pressure on them. But joint pain in general? No.
I'm frustrated. Why does everyone I know seem obsessed with food and food related illness? It feels as though all these people I know are looking for any explanation that they can find that gives them the ability to control the problem. Food allergies are perfect because you can simply stop eating what you're allergic to.
And it feels like everyone is trying to explain away my mental issues with them as well. Maybe they don't mean to. Maybe they just aren't hearing themselves. But everyone keeps making a big deal out of MOOD being effected by food allergies. As though that would explain so much. As though if only I'd realized I am allergic to some kind of food or another I would never have cut myself up or had the psychotic break as a teen or developed obsessive behaviors.
So maybe that's unintentional- but it pisses me off. It feels like people are not willing to accept anything they can't fix. It seems like people don't believe in mental illness and that pisses me the fuck off. Why is it so hard for people to accept that there are some things they can't change? Why does it freak people out to admit that maybe some people are born with brains that don't work as well as others? Why is it so hard to accept that some people have nervous systems that don't communicate properly with the brain?
You can't positive-think yourself a new brain.
Anyone who says differently is chasing unicorns and rainbows and are welcome to them.
What's wrong with me? I don't know. A friend of mine suggested stress and at first I wanted to kick his ass. Of course I have tons of stress. What am I supposed to do about it? I've spent a lifetime trying to control it with every method possible and in the end the only thing that worked and improved my quality of life was man-made pscyche meds. Which very likely has added to the whole weight issue.
But I listened to him and did some checking up and sure enough- too much stress can cause a body to develop bigger problems. It's all about the overproduction of cortisol in the pituitary gland. Which can result in Cushing's Syndrome. Other things that can result from this are other hormonal imbalances resulting in hypothyroidism and diabetes. Yes, diabetes. I don't understand it all and this may very well not be the answer. However, when I compare the list of symptoms for food allergies (special emphasis on gluten allergy) with the symptoms associated with hormone imbalances (special emphasis on those produced by excessive stress), it is incredibly clear that everything I'm experiencing matches up with the hormonal list eerily well and with the Celiac's list hardly at all.
In spite of having expressed this out loud, a number of people are still saying "food allergy!". Why? Why the insistence when I know myself better than they do and why insist that in spite of the evidence that supports a hormonal imbalance over a food allergy do they still think it's gluten. As though they have a personal stake in it being gluten. As though this would somehow vindicate everything they have come to believe. Their insistence feels unreasonable. Like I've just pointed out that Jesus never walked across the water, there was a structure just under the water that he walked across the whole way."
Like my friend with his paleo diet it seems that food allergies have become people's new religion.
I am perfectly willing to get myself checked out for food allergies the moment I can afford to be checked out for anything. I have no vested interest in disabusing food allergies as the evil behind many bodily ills, but it simply isn't adding up. Whereas hormonal imbalance is. One of the ways I count myself as a rational person is that I follow the evidence. I don't decide ahead of time what's wrong, but I follow the clues and if one solution just doesn't add up, I don't follow it doggedly. I look for what does add up.
Something is not right with my body. This is the one thing I know for sure. I've been feeling it for almost 3 years but while still drinking heavily I couldn't assert anything with confidence. Drinking heavily can cloud a lot of issues. I couldn't be sure there was something wrong until I'd effectively reduced my drinking by a lot and for many months and also included a lot more consistent exercise. I've done it. I'm there.
There's something not right.
Maybe a number of things not right.
A friend sent me $100 to spend however I want or need to spend it. I now know how to spend it. I will cash it, save it in a drawer, and wait until I have enough to get a bunch of blood tests done. I will find out how much it will cost from my doctor to get all my major hormones checked as well as checking for a gluten allergy which I think can be checked with blood as well. I will also get tested for diabetes. Those are the things I will save to be checked for.
Thank you Tonia! Your card is beautiful!
If all of those things can be crossed off my list then I'll just have to keep researching.
*This is one that I'm particularly ashamed of and rarely mention out loud. I just had to look up the word for it because describing it in an unclinical way is demoralizing.
Comments (14)
I was about your age when I developed hypothyroidism. The most noticeable symptom was rapid weight gain. I had weighed about the same weight for 20 years and in 6 months I put on 10 pounds--although my diet and activity level had remained constant.
However, I also experienced a lot of depression-like symptoms: lack of desire or interest, panic, an extreme sensitivity to loud noises, an inability to concentrate. Even small household chores like doing the dishes seemed like an incredible hurdle to overcome.
I was under a lot of stress at work and attributed all my problems to stress. I'm lucky that I had a very observant gynecologist who recognized the changes in me and followed up with questions and tests. I've been on thyroid medications ever since.
I don't know what the answer is for you but I hope you will be able to get some tests done.
Posted by mss @ Words Into Bytes | April 22, 2010 12:11 PM
Posted on April 22, 2010 12:11
You are so welcome!
I think for the most part people want to help and often latch onto one or two symptoms that perhaps they have had and successfully treated. They then tend to apply their treatment to any and all conditions that have even one similiar symptom. Frustrating situation to be in for the one suffering. It also seems to me that people get a bit nervous around talk of mental illness and depression. Being told a lot of my growing up and most of my adult years to "Snap out of it!" has left me a bit sensitive when people try to belittle or play down depression. Keep telling your story, Angelina, not just for yourself but for the rest of us. Those that see a bit of themselves or loved ones in the words you write. A big hug to you, my friend.
Posted by Tonia | April 22, 2010 12:19 PM
Posted on April 22, 2010 12:19
Hey! I hear you -- I think the reason so many people say "food allergies! of course!" is because they are becoming SO prevalent (peanut allergies increased 20% EACH YEAR after GMO corn was introduced to the market) and honestly, it does totally change your body. I never in a milion years thought I could possibly have celiac disease, and here I am, shaped completely differently and with energy for the first time in about 13 years.
Not to say that YOU have celiac. Just a reason why it might keep coming up.
Posted by Amy | April 22, 2010 1:54 PM
Posted on April 22, 2010 13:54
hi,
Still loving to read your blog. You are one very smart woman. You probably know this but it could be your medications, there are alot of mood stabilising drugs that have major weight gain as a side effect. I don't know what you are on but it sounds like they have been effective for you. It is hard to find medications that work for you and weight gain seems to come with anti-depressants, anti-psychotic drugs and mood stabilisers. It is a shame your health care is so expensive to get blood tests done. It sounds like a good plan to get your bloods checked. Great job with the beer reduction. Good Luck
Posted by Loraine | April 23, 2010 5:26 AM
Posted on April 23, 2010 05:26
Hi Angelina, it's Liz here again. Sooo..when we moved up here I had like 4 steady years of depression and stress. It wasn't something I could articulate was happening at the time at all, more like a slow seeping process. But for the first time in my life I gained 40 pounds for no obvious reason. (Previously in my life I'd always been very steady, never ever worried about food, was generally happy in my body).
I also spent tons of time and energy trying to figure out what the hell was going on. I went to like, 5 different doctors (Western and 'alternative) all of whom hinted at "something I must be doing" and who didn't really help.
I knew that something else was going on, and I knew it wasn't related to food consumption or activity level.
Next time we hang out I can tell you everything I've learned now and what I'm doing now that I feel is finally working (although I'm still at the beginning of it). But in a nutshell it IS the cortizol thing.
I finally got some help from a Natureopath and and MD who work together and specialize in this stuff and I am doing a combo of a few simple supplements plus one Med that has made me feel a ton better. I took a test that showed that my Cortizol was through the roof. My blood sugar is also very high...something my previous doctors failed to pay any attention to because they were to busy telling me it was my fault.
It's not food allergies. My doc says if I had Gluten allergies I would feel terrible after eating. And I don't.
Anyway, would love to talk more on the subject...but wanted to let you know I hear you and have sure been there too.
Posted by Elizabeth | April 23, 2010 7:36 AM
Posted on April 23, 2010 07:36
If I haven't said it often enough- I want you all to know how much I appreciate your input and support!
MSS- I don't think I knew you had hypothyroidism before- energy level seems to be a big factor in it (I have another friend who also has hypothyroidism) and the difficult factor is, of course, that depression itself is often energy depleting. I had my thyroid checked 2 years ago when I first started feeling like something was wrong. It came up fine but I think it's definitely time to check all the hormones that might be causing what I'm going through. It is also hard because I first gained weight pretty quick when I broke my hip. There was a direct cause and effect and no mystery. But in 2009, even though I was still drinking a lot, my habits were very steady (even the overindulging ones) and I gained an additional 40 pounds. That seemed pretty outrageous to me. Especially since by the end of summer my exercise level increased in both intensity and consistency and my calorie intake dropped dramatically.
Tonia- Eugene is really so close to me compared to all kinds of other places I could go. I just might plan a two night trip to come visit you, spend some time alone- I don't get to go to NY but a couple of nights from home with a visit with you in there- just might be heaven!
Amy- I intend to ask you all kinds of questions! Philip is such a freak- I told him we were going to do this to rule out gluten for once and for all and he's all geeky and excited at doing a food experiment. We need to go out sometime and have a hang out session which doesn't involve me crashing your Sunday scene!
Loraine- (you have such a beautiful name!) My meds do work really well for me. The Paxil especially and there's no denying the truth that Paxil is one of the worst offenders when it comes to weight gain. I didn't think it could be responsible for my current issue though because I really didn't have a problem with weight gain from my meds for the first few years. However, another friend says that studies are beginning to emerge that show that the weight gain from psyche meds can happen after long term use. More must be revealed I think!
Elizabeth- I want to know more about the cortisol business. Seems a likely culprit and from the reading I've done so far seems to match up with my experience much more than gluten intolerance. Though friends with Celiac's have said that intestinal discomfort is not always experienced. It seems to me that if your body can't handle a food substance you will definitely experience discomfort digestively. In any case, this is why I want to make a list of tests to get done. It seems to me that that's the best place to start eliminating things. Meanwhile, I will continue with my non-indulgent drinking and eating and my exercise and just try to hang in there.
Posted by angelina | April 23, 2010 8:05 AM
Posted on April 23, 2010 08:05
I keep thinking about you. It's hard to say the appropriate thing when I don't know the whole story. But I'll throw out another idea.
One thing you might think about is the potential that there is no "magic pill"; (not literally) I mean, that there might not be ONE thing that causes ALL the symptoms you experience. Perhaps there are multiple causes and perhaps they also interact to mix up a set of symptoms that are not easily explained by this, that, or the other thing.
For example, I often have debilitating migraines. I do eat/drink several foods associated with migraines (like red wine). However, I don't get a headache every time I drink red wine. A friend of mine who also suffers migraines suggested it is a cumulative affect--if I drink red wine and a storm system is coming in and I'm about to start my period--then the three combine to lay me out for a day.
Posted by mss @ Words Into Bytes | April 23, 2010 9:16 AM
Posted on April 23, 2010 09:16
"Food allergies are like a new religion. They explain all of life's ills. They are the evil behind the body curtain."
Thank you for putting into words something that I've been feeling for a while now. Working in the food industry, I see this come up again and again and again. Like many things, food allergies definitely explain some people's health problems, just like some kids really DO have ADHD and some people really DO have clinical depression that won't "just go away." But the fanaticism is taking on slightly incredible proportions.
And any time anyone becomes fanatical about something, I quickly become veeery skeptical.
Anywho, I understand that feeling of knowing something is wrong with your body and not knowing how to fix it. Also a mistrust of doctors who think they know the answer without really listening to you. Good luck, amiga.
Posted by EmmaC | April 23, 2010 9:29 AM
Posted on April 23, 2010 09:29
MSS- I have considered that as well. I like simple answers (who doesn't?!) but another friend also suggested that it might be a more complicated set of circumstances and I have to admit that in life the answers are rarely simple and finite. I still think the approach needs to be checking out multiple possibilities and see what comes up. Not getting regular health care means I really don't check up on things unless it's already a crisis. If I can check my hormone levels, check for insulin resistance (associated with prolonged cortisol production) and see if there are any food allergies involved, that can at least begin to narrow down possible aspects of what's going on.
I am researching psyche meds too to see if there might be some good candidates for change- I am considering (and will talk with my doctor about this) going off meds completely for 6 months to a year to see if I can't get my body to respond better to exercise and my healthier habits and lose a good portion of my weight- get my body cleaned up and out before starting new meds. I'm concerned about the long term effects of my meds and I tried Prozac this fall thinking it was time to take something fresh but it made me clench my jaws which triggered obsessive attention to my jaw- At the very least I believe I need to be completely off the Paxil. So I'll talk to my doc about beginning the wind down process.
The good thing about all this is that I'm finally at a much healthier junction as far as the alcohol is concerned and getting regular exercise- this is the best place to be in to start figuring out how to get everything else working right. Or assessing the damage I've done to myself over the past 4 years of dealing poorly with shitloads of stress, I mean to say- way more than my life had in it before.
Posted by angelina | April 23, 2010 9:33 AM
Posted on April 23, 2010 09:33
I just keep thinking about this because I so want other people and women in particular to hear my story...because it's a path I tread alone and now that I've arrived at something tangible I'm just shocked at how simple it is vs. how long it took for someone to give me this information.
Very important thing about Cortizol, as you may have discovered in your research, it's your "Fight or Flight" mechanism. High Corizol means that it's been released over and over due to modern stress factors...and the thing is...it doesn't just go down again when the stress is over. So even though I'm totally in a good space again, it's still hanging out from sayyyy, 2 years ago when my life was in the dumps. So there are some supplements that help to bring it down that I'm using, plus I've had to make some minor lifestyle adjustments (less caffeine, being more aware of my stress triggers).
None of this means anything like "live a stress free life". Of course no one can do that. But I've found that these minor tweaks alone have really helped. I'd be happy to share my regimen with you...and I would definitely recommend if you are getting tests, go for blood sugar/glucose and cortizol if you can. Of course we all can't diagnose eachother...but that is my experience. :)
Liz
Posted by Elizabeth | April 23, 2010 11:14 AM
Posted on April 23, 2010 11:14
Have you checked out the Virginia Garcia Clinic? "The McMinnville Center, opened in 2006, is the only healthcare clinic in Yamhill County dedicated to serving people of low income or who have no insurance. The center services 7,500 patients annually with integrated primary care, mental health, OB/maternity care, dental, pharmacy and health education – all in one location."
Posted by Lucy | April 23, 2010 1:21 PM
Posted on April 23, 2010 13:21
Thanks Lucy. Yes, I've talked with them and we make too much money to qualify for any discounts. It is, in America, completely possible to make way above the poverty line, have no debt besides a mortgage and taxes, and be broke. Philip and I fall between the cracks. Not poor enough for any programs meant to help those in need, yet we are in need. Oh well. I've shed my tears over it and I'm done. To see my regular doctor is cheaper than going to the Garcia clinic if I pay in cash. That's just for a basic consult. The tests will be expensive but I'll save up for them.
Posted by angelina | April 23, 2010 1:50 PM
Posted on April 23, 2010 13:50
I hope you find something that will help you. I am years older, but also finding it hard to lose weight. I've started writing everything down and keeping calories to between 1000 and 1500, mostly around 1200 and still its hardly coming off. Age is responsible for most of it. I'm hopping on the treadmill daily and really upping my activity level and man at this rate... well its hard not to be discouraged. Even with a moderately healthy brain, sometimes its hard to stay upbeat about it. Wow, didn't mean to sound so downerish. Anyway just want you to know that I'm thinking about you. xo
Posted by Pam | April 25, 2010 9:46 AM
Posted on April 25, 2010 09:46
Wonderful to read!
Posted by men's health | May 14, 2010 1:41 AM
Posted on May 14, 2010 01:41