All Pilled Up And Stained
Last week, when we were wondering if our money would last until this week, Philip said we got a coupon in the mail from The Fashion Bug and he thought I should use it to buy some new clothes. This is the kind of thing that gives wives wet dreams-right?! How often does a husband happily suggest you go spend money on clothes? So at first I was really suspicious, because we're pretty strapped all the time which is hardly the time to go buy some clothes, and he said it all casual-like, as though he thinks that buying clothes is a grand way of spending one's last few dollars.
Then I got even more suspicious...because why would he suggest I go buy clothes when he knows that I hate shopping for them because it is demoralizing and never makes me feel better? What's the agenda? What the h-
It was just as I was working up a fine righteous indignation that I happened to notice my shirt. I own five of the same one. All from Ross. All pilled up and stained. All of them with hems less than tidy from me pulling and twisting at them (a compulsive habit). This made me stop and contemplate my pant collection of three. No, wait, four! Four pairs of pants. Two of them barely fit*. Three of them have holes in them in places that share my underwear choices with the public unless my shirts were long enough, which they aren't. All this led me to consider my sweaters which are in worse shape and far uglier than my pants.
My suspicions confirmed! Philip is ashamed to be seen in public with his shabby wife and would very much prefer that I spend money on clothes so that I might stop looking like a fat homeless ape and more like the exuberant, intelligent, quirky gal I am than that I spend the money on dirt.
(I am going to buy more soil today to fill more garden beds and I am more excited about this soil than all the clothes in the world!)
We can't afford for me to buy more clothes. Not really. I have been trying to talk myself into making some new pants. I can't bear to. I can't do it when I'm this big. There is just no getting around how depressed it will make me to spend the time sewing something that will make me look less poverty stricken but not less huge. I must buy them which is only slightly less depressing.
However- as a compromise to myself and my family- I think it's time I made a couple of new shirts for myself. This will be less depressing**. I don't have to spend any money doing this because I already have spent a bundle over the years amassing a tidy stash of knits and cottons and silky fabrics to choose from. A couple of knit tops and a couple of festive flowy tops should spruce up my wardrobe well!
That leads to the topic of today's home economics article I wrote and posted over at Stitch and Boots:
In the article I do a cost analysis to help illustrate the cost of home sewing compared to store bought and suggest several ways to actually make home sewing more cost effective. I have been wanting to write this for a very long time and am so excited to have it finally written!
I did not ride my bicycle yesterday. I'm not going to yell at myself about it though because of two very important factors:
I might get on the bicycle today depending on whether we're expected to have another torrential downpour or if it's going to stay somewhat quiet out there. I will be looking at my fabrics and my patterns to decide on a couple of them to sew. I can't use the excuse of not having my sewing room set up to avoid this project. It's all set to go! You know your clothes must be in appalling shape when your husband starts handing you money you don't have to replace them!
*And when I say "barely fit" what I really mean is that they don't fit at all, I'm just pretending they do. If I wore a shirt that exposed my midsection I would be quite in style according to certain local socio-economic crowds who like the whole muffin-top pant thing with the ultra short top combo. This is a "style" combo widely dissed by a number of people (me, myself, and I). So yeah, I think I've reached the point where I need to institute some wardrobe detention on myself.
**It is useless to try to explain why one of these things is more depressing than the other. There truly is an irrational crazy-person logic to it.
Then I got even more suspicious...because why would he suggest I go buy clothes when he knows that I hate shopping for them because it is demoralizing and never makes me feel better? What's the agenda? What the h-
It was just as I was working up a fine righteous indignation that I happened to notice my shirt. I own five of the same one. All from Ross. All pilled up and stained. All of them with hems less than tidy from me pulling and twisting at them (a compulsive habit). This made me stop and contemplate my pant collection of three. No, wait, four! Four pairs of pants. Two of them barely fit*. Three of them have holes in them in places that share my underwear choices with the public unless my shirts were long enough, which they aren't. All this led me to consider my sweaters which are in worse shape and far uglier than my pants.
My suspicions confirmed! Philip is ashamed to be seen in public with his shabby wife and would very much prefer that I spend money on clothes so that I might stop looking like a fat homeless ape and more like the exuberant, intelligent, quirky gal I am than that I spend the money on dirt.
(I am going to buy more soil today to fill more garden beds and I am more excited about this soil than all the clothes in the world!)
We can't afford for me to buy more clothes. Not really. I have been trying to talk myself into making some new pants. I can't bear to. I can't do it when I'm this big. There is just no getting around how depressed it will make me to spend the time sewing something that will make me look less poverty stricken but not less huge. I must buy them which is only slightly less depressing.
However- as a compromise to myself and my family- I think it's time I made a couple of new shirts for myself. This will be less depressing**. I don't have to spend any money doing this because I already have spent a bundle over the years amassing a tidy stash of knits and cottons and silky fabrics to choose from. A couple of knit tops and a couple of festive flowy tops should spruce up my wardrobe well!
That leads to the topic of today's home economics article I wrote and posted over at Stitch and Boots:
In the article I do a cost analysis to help illustrate the cost of home sewing compared to store bought and suggest several ways to actually make home sewing more cost effective. I have been wanting to write this for a very long time and am so excited to have it finally written!
I did not ride my bicycle yesterday. I'm not going to yell at myself about it though because of two very important factors:
- I did lots of weeding and my leg muscles are sore from it today.
- I didn't drink any beer last night.
- Yelling at myself just makes me crave candy bars. (that was a bonus factor)
I might get on the bicycle today depending on whether we're expected to have another torrential downpour or if it's going to stay somewhat quiet out there. I will be looking at my fabrics and my patterns to decide on a couple of them to sew. I can't use the excuse of not having my sewing room set up to avoid this project. It's all set to go! You know your clothes must be in appalling shape when your husband starts handing you money you don't have to replace them!
*And when I say "barely fit" what I really mean is that they don't fit at all, I'm just pretending they do. If I wore a shirt that exposed my midsection I would be quite in style according to certain local socio-economic crowds who like the whole muffin-top pant thing with the ultra short top combo. This is a "style" combo widely dissed by a number of people (me, myself, and I). So yeah, I think I've reached the point where I need to institute some wardrobe detention on myself.
**It is useless to try to explain why one of these things is more depressing than the other. There truly is an irrational crazy-person logic to it.
Comments (11)
Is that a picture of a room in your house? The black blouse and skirt with the choker are the stuff of dreams for me. I have a pair of black boots that would look just right with that combination. Love the undies too. I am frustrated with my weight and my clothes selection as well. I am tired of looking like a frumpy old lump. Can't wait to see what you sew.
Posted by Tonia | April 28, 2009 1:11 PM
Posted on April 28, 2009 13:11
I laughed several times reading this! I too love the blouse and skirt on the dress form, but I doubt this anywhere in your house as I can't imagine you hanging panties on your wall....based on past posts :-) Not that it isn't cool to hang panties on said wall(I'd love to have the boldness to do it)...just saying. As a fellow fatty, I understand not wanting to sew pants, its just too damn discouraging to go through all the effort and still wear clown pants. Something about being smaller would be more fulfilling, I think. And buying soil over buying clothes is my spoken language-not because I don't understand the lure of pretty clothes, because I do, a lot. But when money is hard to find, soil to grow food always wins. Now I'm heading over to the sewing post because I am an irrational crazy person, aka seamstress :-)
Posted by Kathy | April 28, 2009 1:34 PM
Posted on April 28, 2009 13:34
Tonia- I should have put a caption under the picture with a link- I will do this later- this is a picture of my friend Autumn's shop called Dark Garden. I wish I had that outfit and I wish I could look like a woman instead of a potato in such an ensemble!!! LOVE the panties. I would feel ridiculous in them at this size but if I got down to merely chubby I'd totally wear the frills.
Kathy- yes, I have a lovely pair of knickerbockers I designed and made for myself that are flattering on me and so damn cute- I hope some day to wear them again. (They are not my "skinny" pants, incidentally, just normal sized, maybe even chubby, so there's hope!)
I bought the soil! So excited!
Posted by Angelina | April 28, 2009 2:51 PM
Posted on April 28, 2009 14:51
Hooray for more garden dirt! I would far rather spend money on garden dirt and compost than on clothes shopping. What a darling blouse and skirt. (I probably could have fit into something like that when I was in junior high) I'm feeling discouraged that I've gained weight and my tried and true sewing patterns are all for the body I had 30 pounds ago. I can barely stand the thought of doing that work over again to re-adapt the patterns, and buying clothing is not an option, the money isn't there, and I've a whole shelf full of fabric waiting to be cut out and sewed. I need to do something soon, I'm down to three jumpers, a few blouses, and one pair of overalls, all seriously wearing thin. My favorite jumper just came out of the laundry with the whole under armhole area shredded away to nothing, the fabric just wore out. I need to just put on my big girl panties and get to sewing, but can't seem to get started. Sewing was more fun when I wasn't so spherical
Posted by alison | April 28, 2009 4:02 PM
Posted on April 28, 2009 16:02
Stop being hard on yourself. (I only say this because I am in the same boat as you - who wants to buy size 18 pants? not me.)
I bit the bullet and went to Gottschalks to buy some much needed pants because they were going out of business and touting their "up to 60% off" sale.
They had one rack for 60% off - everything else was only 20%. But I did find pants so I am happy now.
Posted by Karmyn R | April 28, 2009 8:23 PM
Posted on April 28, 2009 20:23
Having spent the last few months wearing the same 3 pairs of trousers and 3 t shirts on rotation ( and probably the next few months too unless I give birth to a 2 stone baby) I think what you wear has a huge effect on mood and self confidence. Feeling scruffy or dowdy I have tried to cheer myself up wearing necklaces and brooches but I really just want something new and flattering to wear.
Raid your stash and get stitching!
Posted by French Knots | April 29, 2009 3:04 AM
Posted on April 29, 2009 03:04
Oh.. do I relate.
I ended up op shopping recently because we are coming into winter and I realised that I owned 0 jumpers that were presentable in public, mostly too small but for the one that wasn't it was too stained.
I now own one that is firmly reserved as my "going out" jumper. I put it on 5 minutes before I go out and pull it off and change as soon as I walk in the door. I am sure the people in my weekly Permaculture Design class are all going to think I am the weirdest hippy in the room by the end of 3 months of seeing me in the same jumper and one of the two pair of pants that I own.
That said it is better than spending money on big girl clothes when I should just do what I need to do with my diet and exercise regime. Just finding it hard to firmly grasp my energy and direct it at my self care.. but I really need to do it soon.
Kind Regards
Belinda
Posted by Simply.belinda | April 29, 2009 4:56 AM
Posted on April 29, 2009 04:56
A couple of months ago, I was visiting my mother while wearing a shirt that is AT LEAST 20 years old. It's frayed and has holes, but I quite like it. She looked at me and said "it's about the shirt".
I thought of retiring it when she died, but I think I'll keep it forever.
PS what happened to the one kid club post?
Posted by magpie | April 29, 2009 7:56 AM
Posted on April 29, 2009 07:56
sorry, but i have to be the dissident. i wear size 18 and love myself in nice clothes!! i am required to dress professionally for work, but i also enjoy fashion.
i believe that you can find flattering clothes / patterns to fit you no matter what size you are! items with structure are best for bigger sizes. flowy tops are cute, but if they are too oversized they make one look even bigger.
Posted by Jade | April 29, 2009 8:40 AM
Posted on April 29, 2009 08:40
I know exactly how you feel. It's no fun making or shopping for "pretty plus" clothes. I'd much rather buy gardening stuff too! Unfortunately, I work in an office so I have to look somewhat presentable. Email me and let me know what size you are and what your tastes are. I have some near-new things I could pass on to you if you're interested. Better than having them hang in the closet and laugh at me every time I open the door.
Posted by Diane | April 29, 2009 9:21 AM
Posted on April 29, 2009 09:21
All you ladies are so reassuring and I love to hear from you!!
I didn't feel so discouraged when I was a size 18. You know what it is? It's the belly fat. I always had a waist before and I've destroyed it and it is just no fun dressing over this belly. Should I make a girdle for myself? Maybe if I wore a girdle to hold the belly in a bit I wouldn't be so annoyed with myself all the time.
I totally get refusing to shop because I know what really needs to happen. SO TRUE!!
Magpie- The one kid club post was retired quickly because I was so worried about offending all my friends and acquaintances who have more kids and wasn't sure they'd understand the desire to show appreciation for those people who help make me feel normal. If I become bold enough to post it again you must be added to the list- I knew there was someone I was forgetting!!
I'm looking at patterns right now. I'm determined to sew a couple of things.
Posted by angelina | April 29, 2009 9:30 AM
Posted on April 29, 2009 09:30