What's Your Butt Type?

(If you're only reading this because butt types intrigue you, I suggest you skip to the lowest third of this post, it takes me that long to get around to it.)

If I had to pick my favorite physical feature (on my own body) I think it would be my eyes.  But not my eyebrows.  (Though this picture makes it appear that my brows are decently shaped and not at all an ad for why all women with wandering hairs need a wax.)  I like my eyes because they're green.  Otherwise they aren't that remarkable.

The whole exercise concept has been a dead fish in my thoughts lately, stinking plenty and not swimming away.  My new schedule promises to be healthier for me in that I will now go three days without any alcohol each week instead of two.  I will read more, which is phenomenal, even though all the books I'm reading right now are ones I've already read three or four times each.  I will have more time to get things done around the house.  I will have more time to exercise because Philip and I have worked out a guilt-trade scheme:

I will be in charge of picking up the dog poop in the yard and mowing the lawn, which Philip hates and feels guilty about not doing.  In exchange, he will now be the dog exerciser.  He has released me of all responsibility for walking the dog.  Which was making me feel guilty every single day.  It was also causing me to not opt for any exercise at all because I'd rather not do it at all if it must be to walk the dog.

These are the deals that make a marriage strong- ones that address guilt and find a solution for it to everyone's satisfaction.

I don't want to exercise. The fatter I get the less motivated which is the reverse of how it should be.  Today I have to go to the library to pay my usual hefty fines, and then pick up some milk at the rich people's store (they have a good deal usually for a locally produced milk I like to buy.  Any other shopping there would result in our starving to death.)  I have decided that after I transplant the wonderful plants my friend Lisa E. gave me from her garden*  I am going to hop on my bicycle and do those errands. 

On the bicycle.  My thighs already hurt just thinking about it.  At least I will be killing many birds with one stone. 

It's weird to think that Liz Taylor is out there some where, right now, probably suffering in some way.  (That just popped into my head and I figured I may as well share it as not.)

We started watching "The Tuxedo" last night with Max.  Jackie Chan is an old favorite of mine and Philip's.  It's pretty silly.  Jennifer Love Hewitt has a lovely body but I hope she won't mind if I prefer not to trade butts with her.  Although my butt is about ten times larger than hers, I was thinking how funny it is to not envy another person's ass.  Even if it's much thinner. 

There are lots of different ass types out there and I actually like mine.  I'd like to see it again some day.  Of course it will be lower than it used to be nomatter what I weigh, because gravity will have her way with us all.  As fine as Jennifer L.H.'s butt is, her butt type is different than mine and I would feel really weird to be swinging a strange butt type behind me when I walk.

Wouldn't it be funny if you could read a person's personality based on their butt-type?

The Four Basic Butt Types:

Discuss Shaped- (aka: flat-ish): Likes to humiliate others, be in charge, look in the mirror, and take walks at sundown.

Bubble Shaped: Likes to dance all night, is very proud, easily miffed, and enjoys sand.

Tear-shaped Sacks: Frequently seen chasing own tail, likes to cook, nap, and never admits to anything.

Tear Shaped Side-Sacks: Craves the limlight, kinky to a fault, likes action, Kung Fu, and fresh juice.

So, what butt type are you?







*Foxgloves, purple gayfeathers, CA poppies, chives, columbine, and this wonderful spreading groundcover that has tiny violet-like flowers...they cover all the stone walls in Scotland and I never tire of using those pictures on my blog over and over but I don't know what they're called.